I think our cat hates us :( - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-18-2011, 03:47 PM Thread Starter
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I think our cat hates us :(

I have 2 cats, one is 5 and the other 6 months. The older one has been this way even before the kitten came along which I will get to in a bit. So here is the problem and I never really noticed the severity of it until
the kitten came around. All he does is lay on the couch. He has no interest in anything He does not want to be pet or he will bite. He does not want to be groomed or he will bite. I come downstairs to give them
their food and he doesnt even come to inspect. He looks at me with his ears up in the air but otherwise has no interest. We have tried everything to get him to show some sort of interest...interest in anything. He doesnt even explore the house or look out a window. He just sleeps on the couch in the basement and that is about it. Here are the things we have tried
-catnip: no affect on him
-toys: no affect on him
-grooming time: trys to chomp you
-cat treats: if you open the bag in front of him he lifts his head up up but wont even get up to get the treat, you have to bring it to him
-got kitten...no interest in kitten
-talk to him/sing to him: he just walks away
I cant get him to do anything but lay on the couch in the same spot sleeping and it is a bit concerning because of the lack of activity or interest in things. He is 15 lbs by the way. If my wife and I sit down on the couch next to him he gives us this look of total annoyance and ultimately gets up, walks a few feet away and lays down with his back turned towards us.

Thats another thing, he does not look at us, he will stare at the wall of the couch as to avoid looking at us which is kind of a bummer
because you want your pet to show you some sort of affection and you cant even show him affection or he will bite. If you try to pet him he purrs at first but then will try and bite...not a love nip either, I mean a BITE. I dont get it. I dont think he is in any pain which would warrant a bite. Vet gave him a clean bill of health a few months ago (he has to wear a muzzle at the vet) but I didnt tell the vet his lack of activity because I figured it was just feline indifference...but seeing how full of enegry
the kitten is in contrast to the older cat we are thinking he might be depressed.

He doesnt seem phased by the kitten either, The kitten will jump past him, swat him on the head and run away...he doesnt even get up for that.
The kitten will play on the floor in front of him and he pays no attention.
So what can we do? Cat is probably depressed. We got him from a shelter a few years ago he is about 5 now he was in the shelter for almost a year and I felt bad for him so we adopted him. I dont know, I really dont think this is normal. He uses the litter box and all and he doesnt scratch furniture...but I dont think he is happy. We think he might have been abused. The shelter we got him from said he came in as a stray but was fixed and wasnt feral and they were pretty sure he was someones pet...maybe he misses his old family? Can we do anything to help him or should we just give up and never have a bond with him?
Summary: cat has no interest in people, exploration, treats, other cats, so forth...what to do what to do...
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-18-2011, 11:48 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear this. So you have had him for two years? I have a cat who as a kitten would not play. She did not know how to play. It was obvious that she was put into a cage and left there. She has learned to play by watching the other cats. You might just try to play with the kitten in the other cat's sight. I wouldn't try to force him to be with you. I know that it is so disappointing not to have a pet that wants to be next to you. But just because he doesn't show any interest doesn't mean that he isn't interested. If you talk to him and don't pet him he might like that. It sounds like he has had a hard life and it has left an effect on him. I would mention the inactivity to the vet, though. That is not normal for a 5 year old. There may be a thyroid problem or something that wasn't checked on.
Good luck!
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-18-2011, 11:54 PM
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Wow thats not a happy life I agree, what bothers me is the vet says hes healthy. From my experience, ive had 5-6 cats in my lifetime, when a cat doesnt respond to humans and other animals its usually sick. I'm not a vet and dont know all their procedures but wondering if they check his hearing and eyesight as well as the vitals. Just thinking some other issues might be bothering him which he might not hear or see things right away and might scare him? Idk i wish i could give you more assistance, good luck, as I see you seem to want to show him love, he just needs to learn to accept it.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-19-2011, 01:29 AM
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Does your kitty have his claws? Sometimes, unfortunately , cats can develop chronic pain in their feet after declawing surgery, which can lead to depression, defensiveness (biting), and changed personality, including trust issues...

This might sound crazy, but if you can find an animal behaviorist or an animal communicator you might be able to gain some insight into your kitty. He does sound sad, and I can totally see how you are upset at how he is behaving right now. Keep us posted...and good luck!

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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-19-2011, 07:37 AM Thread Starter
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Hi All - thanks for the replies. Yes he does have claws. This morning I go downstairs to give fresh food, he is eating I walk in the room where he is eating he immmediately stops eating and walks away goes back to the couch

It has crossed my mind that he might have some terrible illness, but he has not lost any weight (he is a big boy) and his stool is okay and doesnt exhibit any symptoms of pain or discomfort. I think I will bring him back to the vet and do a thorough exam.

Last night the kitten I guess got too close to him with a toy and he chomped on the toy and held it in his mouth...he is definately an interesting cat.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-20-2011, 08:47 PM Thread Starter
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Well, I went to pet him and he tried biting me again I guess I just need to give up on trying to have a relationship with him. Well, at least my kitten is loving
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-20-2011, 10:54 PM
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Since catnip and toys don't interest, but treats do, when you give him a treat sneak in few pets on the back of his neck. Hard to bite you if he's chewing on a treat. Don't prolong it tho, and stop before he tries to bite. You might eventually be able to pet him longer. I wonder what his real story is. If he does not have a large frame like a Maine Coon cat he sounds like he is obese at 15 lbs. Have you tried to decrease his food, very little by very little, over some months? What kind of food are you feeding him.....if it's dry food this may not be agreeing with him and making him feel cranky. A good quality no-grain canned food is better than any dry kibble. Obesity will certainly make him feel less energetic. He sounds like he could be depressed, or possibly retarded. Maybe he was dropped on his head as a kitten, or kicked, who knows? It did occur to me also that he may have vision or hearing problems. His behavior is a mystery, that's for sure, but you may have to accept him as he is. Maybe he's happy in his own little world snoozing on the couch? http://www.catinfo.org

Last edited by catloverami; 10-20-2011 at 10:58 PM.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-20-2011, 11:55 PM
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My Milky won't allow petting either unless it's just after he's woken up in the morning or after we get home from work. Any time we try to go near him he freaks out and dahses away like he doesn't want us to touch time. We've gotten our fair share of scratches trying to hold him!

Since Milky started becoming uninterested in his toys lately, I've resorted to trying to play fetch with him or chase with some homemade toys. He seemed to freak out just slightly less than usual and we were able to hold him for very short periods last night.

He's quite the fussy eater too so treats don't interest him either, and I've tried a lot of treats already! I tried using treats to train him to sit or lie down but if he doesn't get the treat after a bit of sniffing, he just walks off, doesn't even care about the treat!
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-21-2011, 11:31 AM
Tom Cat
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you have a lot of human friends that you can't pet either. If your cat weighs 15 pounds and is eating when you came into the room, it sounds to me like he has too much food.
My cats don't leave a dish until it is clean. None of them are obese (or underweight) try feeding less food. As he gets a little hungrier, he will probably move around a bit more. Feed him enough food for a sitting. IF you're not sure how much food that is, try leaving a little less food every day until you see the bowl is empty. I know it's harder when you have two cats, but you need to figure out just how much they are eating.
Another thing is if you are feeding him food high in carbohydrates (bad for cats) he might just not feel that good. Try changing his food to a wetter, high protein diet.

If you allow him to experience hunger, he might show an interest in you and figure out you are the nurturer.
What i don't understand is how you have been with this cat for 2 years and never noticed his sad existence?

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