My cat hates me!! - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-17-2013, 12:30 AM Thread Starter
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Red face My cat hates me!!

hey guys.. i have a 3 months old kitten.. i've had her since she was 40 days old.. she used to be friendly and liked sitting by my side and sleeping in my bed. but lately she doesnt like spending time with me at all. she runs away whenever i try to hold her. she even sleeps on the floor now. i dont know what i did wrong. this is very frustrating coz i like the way she used to be. people tell me that this is normal for cats so i dont know if this is normal or if i'm doing something wrong.
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-17-2013, 10:57 PM
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Awe...that is so sad. Try giving her a treat...maybe take one to her and then leave her a few, leading to your side on the couch...and see if she will take the bait. Maybe over time she will get over whatever has made her so standoff-ish. Make HER want to be by your side again.
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-18-2013, 01:49 AM
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My cat hates me!!

Kittens, like human toddlers, go through varying stages of development, independence being one of them. My kitties have all went through it. It was hard on my ego at first when they'd prefer my husband over me when I'd been their momma since birth, feeding them around the clock, etc. They eventually all came back around and definitely prefer my lap to my husband's. Often I find I've got 5 cats on me and he's got none!

Be patient. Kittens are silly and as long as you love on them when they allow it they'll love you back.


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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-18-2013, 02:02 AM
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My cat Gandalf (actually, my boyfriend adopted him, but he lives with me and his other two siblings) didn't much care for me. I would pet him once and he'd walk away. They are all now going on 8 months old and with lots of time spent playing with him in particular, giving him a little bit of extra attention, petting him when he's sleepy, feeding him treats from my hand, and definitely not making him feel nervous or threatened by trying to grab him all of the time has helped a lot.

He has really warmed up to me, even lets me pet him now and will push his head against my hand and lick me! Such improvement. Cats just tend to be very cautious, especially once they understand they have free reign with really no limitations.

Although I do treat my cats like children. If they do something I think is wrong, jumping on the kitchen counter, I take them off immediately and say, "No," very firmly. Speaking strongly with them, but also rewarding them with praise and niceness will create a stronger bond with your cats. That's been my amateur experience, anyway, I treat them almost as I would babies. They do learn as long as there is an obvious consequence and obvious reward. And establishing that they know you as predictable and do not act suddenly.

I have a very, very skittish kitty who sometimes still runs away when I slowly move to pet her. With lots of speaking to her, lots of patience, turning my back to her as I slowly walk beside her so as to make her feel safer, she's extremely cuddly now and very, very affectionate. She has also come into her own independence amid the other cats.

Basically, it just takes time. ^_^
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-18-2013, 06:42 AM
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Cats respond very well to verbal flattery and food bribes. For a cat who avoids me, I start making friends by getting down on their level (usually involves lying on the floor) and talking to them in a quiet, soft voice, for about five minutes. Then I offer a food bribe and if the cat does not take it from me, I just place it in front of them and then leave. Inevitably, the cat does eat the treat Keep up both behaviors until the cat starts coming to you; and then you can stop grovelling on the floor; but continue with the food bribes until the cat is willing to spend time with you close by or on you.

The little one will come around again, just give her time.
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-20-2013, 12:08 AM Thread Starter
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Re: My cat hates me!!

my cat usually bites and scratches my hands when playing.. i dont know if she's being playfull or aggressive. she's so cute i cant stop playing with her though.

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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-20-2013, 12:39 AM
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My cat avoids me if I am wearing my favorite perfume. She hates it. Did you recently change your scent in some way--like new soap or hand cream? That might be it.
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-20-2013, 08:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by souka View Post
my cat usually bites and scratches my hands when playing.. i dont know if she's being playfull or aggressive. she's so cute i cant stop playing with her though.

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She is being a baby kitty! It is play, but like all children, the play can take a turn to aggression easily. Start controlling it by (gently) grabbing her scruff and shouting NO! That's it - no long diatribe of how she hurt you, just a firm NO! Then put her down and ignore her for a few moments. If she continues to want to play nicely then ok, but continue the training a couple more times if necessary. She will learn her limits soon enough but as long as she is a baby she will need reinforcing - probably until age 3 or so.

Cat owners' prayer: "Lord help me be the person my cat thinks I am"
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-20-2013, 08:55 PM Thread Starter
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Re: My cat hates me!!

so when do you guys think this playing phase will be over? i like her to play but she's getting pretty strong when she's aggressive. all i can do is clip her nails every while. i usually tell her NO but it doesnt work most of the time. i think my hands provoke her when they move. so funny but painful :

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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-20-2013, 09:08 PM
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I agree with all this good advice. You have a little baby on your hands but a baby animal. I would get some toys that have a long handle or dangling thing to protect your hands. My cats liked me playing with them but I don't get close to those claws.
My mama cat extends her claws when she is all excited rubbing me so they just don't get it. You got a ways to go because the cat is so young. My male became a real pain when he went through adolescene biting me! He is getting better slowly. I understand how you feel, as I wonder what makes them clingy one day and run away the next. I think cats just aren't like dogs!
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