"Cats are standoffish and aloof"... yeah, RIGHT! - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 12:14 PM Thread Starter
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"Cats are standoffish and aloof"... yeah, RIGHT!

Every time I hear some dog owner or non-pet-owner proclaim how they don't like cats because they are standoffish, independent, not affectionate, etc., I have to wonder what cats they've ever been exposed to. Either that or they invariably have one or more children who shout and squeal with glee "OH LOOK AT DA KYOOT WIDDLE KITTIE!!!!" and go tromping after the cats.

Heck, *I* want to hide from that. *shudder*

Cats are frequently portrayed as antisocial, when in my experience nothing could be further from the truth. It's a *different* socialization from that of dogs, but certainly not a lesser one.

In fact, one of my cats is going through a phase where I *wish* he'd be a bit more aloof and standoffish. His clinginess is driving me bonkers.

Chubs, all 18-19 pounds of him, is a ginormous fraidycat. He will sit in the middle of the kitchen calling incessantly at certain times of the day. It's not about food. It's not about wanting to go out. He just wants attention. If I reply, he will run pell mell, mewling at the top of his lungs, towards wherever I am. It's a high-pitched whiney meow (he's the feline equivalent of Nathan Lane in The Birdcage). He's purring furiously, rubbing up against me, wanting to be petted.

20-30 minutes later, later-rinse-repeat.

Starting at about 10pm, he will try to convince me that it's time for bed, again calling, meowing, mewling, but this time he won't let up. Once in the bedroom, he'll jump up on the bed and proceed to climb all over me... a 20-pound cat sitting on top of you purring loudly making biscuits is... uncomfortable. He will climb up, down, all around, head-butting me, wanting to groom my hands/arms, munch on my nose, etc.

He'll plop down on my pillow and start chewing on the back of my head, mixed with the occasional head butt. He's a big kitty, so it will occasionally hurt. He's purring the entire time.

After about 15 minutes of this he'll settle down... somewhat. He still wants to be right up against me or holding down one of my arms.

Standoffish? Aloof? Not affectionate? Some days I could only wish... he's tiring.
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 12:17 PM
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How old is this bundle of love?
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 12:20 PM Thread Starter
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Approximately 9 years old.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 12:25 PM
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Hmm, not a kitten. How long have you had him? I wonder what makes him so clingy? Wish I could be of help but I've not had this experience. I have 5 cats that really are quite content to either sit on my lap...or not. They enjoy our company, but don't crave it. As a matter of fact in all my years of cat ownership and many, many senior and adult cats (those are what I adopt so I never really have many of them all that long), I've never experienced clinginess. I'm sure there are some on this forum that do.

If this thread does not get you the help you might expect try reposting in the near future with a thread like "Clingy cat - need help!", or something to that effect. Wish I could be more helpful.
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 12:50 PM
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I dont mind clingy cats. I primarily understand dog behavior, so the more they act like dogs, great!!!
I have had cats my whole life but am only now beginning to understand their behavior.

But I do love an animal who wants to be by myside, doing what im doing, wanting attention/play. My late Siamese was always beside me and now so is Oliver.
I have also had DSH cats that acted in this way too. Maybe I raise them to be clingy?


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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 01:10 PM
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In my experience people who say cats are standoffish or aloof haven't spent a lot of time around them. People are apt to treat ALL animals like dogs and it drives me nuts.

If anything the affection from a cat is more flattering because it's on their terms. When they express the need for contact it's a moment that's very special and in my experience, they do so regularly.

However this does sound excessive lol.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 05:31 PM
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Our calico cat is pretty independent. Molly usually does her own thing and will even run away if you try to pick her up on *your* terms. However, when she wants to be affectionate, she will be. Usually this happens when I'm watching tv at night, right before bed, and after a play session. My wife and I are not paying her anymore attention and are watching a show. She will hop on the couch, sit in her spot (she knows her spot as it has a nice warm throw over the seat cushion). Then proceed to rest her head in one of our arms. This is also the time where my wife or I can freely carry her, clip her nails, or brush her down. She's completely calm at this time. Now if we ignore her at this time, she'll also meow for attention. So for us, Molly is affectionate. But she's affectionate on her terms.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 05:42 PM
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All my cats are clingy in different ways. I think it's just a personality thing.

I also think that a lot of casual cat owners (not the kind who would come to this forum for information) may have standoffish cats because the owner doesn't make the effort to interact with the cat much, so there are probably more aloof cats than there would need to be.


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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 09:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blakeney Green View Post
All my cats are clingy in different ways. I think it's just a personality thing.

I also think that a lot of casual cat owners (not the kind who would come to this forum for information) may have standoffish cats because the owner doesn't make the effort to interact with the cat much, so there are probably more aloof cats than there would need to be.
BINGO!! All my cats love attention! My lap is on a "Time Share" basis! Any time I walk by one, I always give a pet or a scratch and they are all responsive!

"A Cat must have three different names:
An everyday family name; A particular name;
And the name but the Cat Himself Knows, and will never confess." T.S. Eliot

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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 09-08-2013, 09:20 PM
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Bentley just randomly stopped to give me a kiss has he walked by. Clearly very aloof.

(Actually, snarky as I'm being, some cats are naturally aloof - but so are some humans. It's certainly not the universal cat trait that many people imagine.)


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