You said, "She can't be a room cat - that's not fair to her." Yes she can. Right now this is what she wants and needs....to be a room cat.
Right, what I meant is that I will not be comfortable with her living in a bedroom for the rest of her life. I'd have to find another home for her if she absolutely will not adjust. I am fine with her being in the room during her adjustment. It just seems that she is not making any progress, and is getting worse.
She is not ready to meet your friendly Maine Coon or other cats. Two weeks is not a long time, and because you forced her to leave the room and she didn't want to go, that's why she attacked you.
I understand, Milo is not allowed in there. I have a gate up now so that he cannot possibly sneak in when I go in there to feed her, or spend time with her. There will be slip-ups though - I don't want to push the issue with any of them as I understand that it is crucial for them to start off on the right path if they are ever to share the house in the future.
In the meantime, you will have to be very gentle with her; she doesn't trust you now. Don't push yourself on her or try to pick her up. Give her lots of yummy treats, play with her if only if she wants to, let her approach you for any petting, and then only do a little and if she attacks, stop, as some cats get too overstimulated and will strike out if they have too stroking.
I was, and she had gained a level of trust with me. I am not trying to push her. It seems as though she gets aggressive without warning. She did not complain when I picked her up or walked toward the door, but when I crossed the threshold, she immediately became aggressive (Obviously, I won't be doing that again, I want her to succeed - not fail.) I am very gentle with her, as I am with both of my cats. I would not have it any other way.
I am not poking at her, I assure you that I have been very careful with my approach.
You will have to earn her trust. Gradually she may become more friendly to you if you're nicey nice, don't force her to do anything she doesn't want done, and when you come into the room have a yummy treat for her and sweet singsong words for her. Hope you can change her mind, but you will need loads of patience. Good luck!
I talk softly, give her treats, play with her, give her chin scratches (she does not like to be pet on her body) and I stop as soon as I sense she has had enough. I spend time in there just being in there - giving her space and exposing her to me being in the same room.
I guess it sounds like I am handling her a lot - I am not. I am also very careful about the tone of voice i use around her, I don't make a lot of eye contact and "slow-blink" at her when she makes eye contact with me.
I wonder if having kittens changed her behavior somehow. I also wonder if she had a negative experience with a woman before she was found. Like I said before, I have had cats my whole life and I have never experienced aggression like I have with this one.