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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-19-2015, 11:43 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
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Newly single cat not adjusting well

Hello -

For the past 14 years, my two sibling cats Jaden and Jaela have been inseparable. Jaden is the 'big brother' who watches over his sister Jaela like a good boy. He opens doors for her, and watches over her to make sure that she is being treated well. Such a chivalrous cat

Unfortunately, this past weekend, we had to say goodbye to Jaela. Jaden doesn't seem to be handling it very well. He is very lonely. He was very co dependent, and now he doesn't know what to do.

The poor thing keeps crying out. Not his normal meow, but more of a "Where are you?" meow. It just sounds so sad.

Over the past week, I've made sure to spend extra time with him, and give him extra attention. I have some new toys that should be delivered tomorrow. I'm hoping they will give him some distraction, and some joy.

Is there anything else I can do to help him through this difficult time?
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-20-2015, 12:21 AM
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I am really sorry for your loss. My cat, Nyska, went through the same thing when we lost our St. Bernard, Lilly. They loved being together and nap together. After Lilly died Nyska was inconsolable, meowing and going all over the house looking for her friend. Try giving your Jaden lots of attention and time. It will get better for him in time. He is mourning for his sister. Maybe in time, if you think it is right, you could adopt another kitty. It will never replace your Jaela, but it it might help you heal. Again, sorry for your loss.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-20-2015, 01:45 AM
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I'm so sorry about Jaela. I'm in a similar situation. My two weren't littermates and weren't even buddies, but they lived together for 13 years. It's been over two months, and my remaining kitty is lonely and still a bit depressed, despite lots of extra attention and playtime. I bought a Feliway diffuser, though I can't say how effective it is. She has been a little less jumpy, but who knows whether it's the diffuser or just time. The only other thing I can suggest is to leave pieces of your clothing around for Jaden to snuggle on. My Celia seems to find it comforting; maybe Jaden will too.

Maybe in time you might think about bringing Jaden a playmate, if you think he might accept one. I would like to get Celia a playmate and have been looking a bit. I think she needs one, but she is 14.5 years old, and I don't know that she'll accept a new kitty.

Sending a head scratch to Jaden. He looks like an incredibly sweet boy. Poor guy. He must miss her so much, as I'm sure you do.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-20-2015, 07:15 AM
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It's terrible for us to have to say goodbye to a kitty like that, but it's even worse when you know the remaining one is morning and pining and you feel so helpless. At least we as humans can understand the process, but you can't explain it to them.
It gets better with time though and then it becomes a matter of recognising when the pining becomes loneliness.
It was like that for my 9 year old cat Femme. When we lost Nikita it took us about 7 months to adjust to her absence and then to realise that Femme was lonely. She had never been without another cat in her life since the moment she was born and even though she and Nikita weren't close, she missed kitty companionship.
So we introduced Angel. She was one of the craziest kittens I've ever had. But apart from taking her to work to give Femme some peace and quiet every now and again, they get on like a house on fire now despite the big age difference.
It was the best choice we ever made. I think focussing on a bouncing little kitten was just the distraction she needed.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-22-2015, 07:36 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks, all.

His toys arrived Friday, and he seems to be really enjoying them. As much of a gentleman he is, he was always selfish and hogged the toys. So at least now he doesn't have to share.

He seems to be doing a bit better. He still sits at the window, staring out, as if to be keeping an eye out in case she comes back.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-22-2015, 08:55 PM
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That's exactly what Jaden is doing. Celia did that until just recently - so for a good two months - to the point of not sleeping. It's so heartbreaking to see them grieve.

Well, it's good that the toys are helping to keep him occupied. Hopefully the toys and extra time with you will make him feel less lonely.
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