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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-10-2018, 01:36 AM Thread Starter
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help with old skittish cat and younger male fixed cat

need help with our old 7 year old female cat and 2 year old male cat.
used to be our male cat is only kept in our bedroom, while the
female cat has her own room and access to the whole house except our bed room.

lately we have started letting the male cat out and , now the female cat just keeps to her room .
which usually we close the door. but when we leave it open, we noticed the male cat would go in and not sure, but i think they don't like each other and the female cat would just hide .

would it be a good idea to add a screen door to the room? so they can see each other occasionally?
the old female cat has grown more skittish lately, she hides when me and my wife would go in together into her room. and even hiss at me when i get close, she doesnt like her nail cut

its a little bit frustrating, when its only me, she would come out .
but not when we are together, since we usually go in when we need to cut her nails or give her medicine.

I'd like her to get to know the male cat and also get along so she can have access to whole house again.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 07-01-2018, 10:43 AM
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I think your idea of the screen door is a good one. Then your girl could see what's going on. Cat friendships are different, and when two cats live together and don't really like each other, they will gravitate to their "own territory" where they feel safe, as your girl does in her room. You can try and get them to be more friendly to each other by feeding them together in a neutral room---the kitchen or another room. Eating together may help them to be friendlier. and this will work better if you feed them separate meals, say am and pm, a little snack before your bedtime. Don't leave any food down for them to snack on.
Cats like routine, and they will begin to look forward to going together to eat their meals. You don't want either one to bully another about their meal by eating quickly and then going and eating the other's meal! If one of them is a food piggy and finishes early, then remove cat from the room until the other has eaten as much as s/he wants. Don't leave any uneaten food down....or the piggy will eat it and then you will soon be faced with an obese cat problem. At other times I would try to engage them in play both together. A wand toy such as "DaBird", basically a stick with feathers on the end can be flicked around from one to the other, or a cord dragged around on the floor in a snakelike motion. So, eating together and play are important things to a cat, and if they're done together they begin to associate that being together is a good thing and can lead to friendlier behavior between them.
As for nail trimming, I suggest you not do it in your girl's room, but a neutral place. I always clip my guy's clawson the bathroom counter with the door closed! As you're clipping talk to the cat is a soft sing song voice....with lots of "good girl!" praise. At the end of the clipping, immediately reward her with some treats.... Hopefully, she should soon not detest the clipping, but look forward to having it done, as she anticipates some treats.. I hope some of these suggestions will result in a friendlier relationship between your two cats. All the best.

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"A loving cat can mend a wounded heart." ~ Unknown Author
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-18-2018, 11:14 AM Thread Starter
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help with old skittish cat and younger male fixed cat

Thanks , after almost a year. We accidentally left open the door to my skittish catís room and my gray male cat went in, at first they made sounds like talking. Now he has taken her plqce on the window, that was her spot before and now she is on the floor near her cave. So far have not seen them fight though i feel he is stalking her? When he goes near her she will hiss, them he will start making sounds. But so far no physical fights. Would it be safe to let them be and hope they eventually get used to each other? There is only one food bowl
In that room and it is the skittish ones bowl ad the gray cats food bowl is outside. I noticed he likes to go in to her room. Should i add another food bowl also the the room?

Ny the way the skittish cat doesínt play with feathers too as she will hiss at the toy too. She used to
Play before when she still had her daughter with her.

Now i remember why i wasnít able to introduce ly gray cat to her properly before because she was an outdoor cat. We just brought her in as the pound her are rehoming stray cats outside.

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Last edited by batang_mcdo; 10-18-2018 at 11:17 AM.
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-20-2018, 11:44 AM
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So it's been about 5 months that they have been separated. The gray cat who is "making sounds" .....what do they sound like? Chirps or little trills? which are all "friendly sounds" like they are talking, tho skittish girl is still not comfortable with him near her because she is still hissing at him. Since gray boy's bowl is outside, he just really wants to check out the girl's bowl in her room to see if there is any food in it. Rather than putting another bowl in her room, it would be better to put another bowl somewhere else, perhaps the kitchen area. Rather than having the door to her room closed all the time, I would open it while you are there to supervise, as it sounds like your boy just wants to be friendly. Hopefully, gradually she will tolerate him without hissing, and be more comfortable coming out of her room. However, her skittish temperament is likely a permanent thing with her because of genetics, and/or her experiences as a young kitten. All the best!

"There are no ordinary cats.";"Time spent with a cat is never wasted."~ Colette
"A loving cat can mend a wounded heart." ~ Unknown Author
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 10-20-2018, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you was
Looking for
Him
And tonight he was in her room
Again. He does like to eat her food too, my gray cat is a glutton iíll just let them be for now so far they dont really fight both seems relaxed now each at his or her place though my gray cat has taken over the window . But they donít seem to fight . Ordered a wireless camera which iíll put into the room to
Monitor them. I try to have the room door open gray cat likes to go in, but my white cat still doesnít come out of the room.


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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-11-2018, 11:50 AM Thread Starter
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Hereís an update.

My skittish female cat has started to poop near her hiding place instead of the litter box , also she is
More skittish than ever. When vacuum was turned in she panicked and jumped out the window, i was able to call her back after 2 days. My male gray cat is not really aggressice i think but he just doesnít care about her trying to scare him.

He gets aling with my other siamese cat but my skittiah white cat seem to be giving him challenge hehe.

For now i closed the door again to the room so white cat can come out. When she was gone, they gray cat would stay im the room , like looking for her.

Should i open the door again? Thereís no physical
Fight, but the white one is stressed.

She also only shows up
When iím
In the room, if both my wife and i go in she would hide as she knows we are upto somethinf, like trimming her nails.




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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-11-2018, 03:03 PM
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Thanks for the update! I don't think her skittishness is going to change at 7 yrs. Because she was an outdoor cat initially (feral) she missed out on a lot of socialization skills with people, household noises (vaccum, etc.) and other cats that she should have experienced during a crucial learning time from birth to 3 mos. and extremely difficult if not impossible for her to learn this now. It's just the way she is.
As pooping outside her litter box.....where is it located? across the room from her hiding place? If it is, suggest you move it closer to her hiding place as she may feel threatened/scared to cross the room to use it if you gray cat is in the room. So make it easier for her to use it. Suggest when you and your wife go into the room together, that you give her a treats then she should look forward to both of you rather than hiding away....make it a high value treat such as a little bit of roasted chicken. She is not likely to be a outgoing lap cat ever, but she may mellow out and relax more become more friendly as she gets older.

"There are no ordinary cats.";"Time spent with a cat is never wasted."~ Colette
"A loving cat can mend a wounded heart." ~ Unknown Author
Alkitotle aka "Alkee", "Lambie" (July 2/04 - Oct. 2/15) -- white Devon Rex
in avatar. "Always in my heart."

Last edited by catloverami; 12-11-2018 at 03:07 PM.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-12-2018, 12:35 AM Thread Starter
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thanks, yes the litter box is across the room from her hiding place.
my gray male likes to go into her room but he will just get close to her and lie there watching her.

i think I'm the closest to our female white cat, she likes fresh sardines which i occassionally give her as treat.

I;m hoping she can be comfortable with my Gray cat and learn to leave her room again and roam the whole house, because as of now she just stays in her room, before she would roam the whole house, that was because before my male cat was confined in our room. but now he's allowed to go out, but they were not properly introduced anymore since my male cat is an adult now,

i have another siamese cat which was introduced to her while it was a kitten , and she's not that afraid of the siamese.
the siamese was also introduced to my gray cat, when my gray cat was still a kitten, so they would play.
I'm hoping to at least get her to be comfortable with my gray cat and maybe she can also leave the room sometimes.

so would you think it would be a good idea to move the litter box closer to her hiding place, and also leaving the room door open? so the gray cat and go in freely?
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-12-2018, 03:23 PM
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Yes, move his litter box closer to her hiding place as I suggested before. The fact that your gray cat likes to "get close to her and lie there watching her" is intimidating for her....like he is lying in wait. It's really a passive bully action when he knows she is trying to avoid him. I think it is making her feel unsafe and uncomfortable when he does this. I suggest that for part of the day---say a few hours, preferably at the same time of the day so that it becomes a routine to her, that you should lock gray cat away in another room, so that she can come out and roam without seeing him, as she is showing every sign of avoiding him and does not want to be friendly. It may take her a little while to get on to her time in the house to roam, but I think she would enjoy the freedom to do this. Or rather than daytime, you could do the routine at night....and have gray cat closed away in another room, but then she wouldn't get as much chance to see you and your wife and interact with you both. Anyway, I would try the daytime first and see how it goes. Thanks for the update.

"There are no ordinary cats.";"Time spent with a cat is never wasted."~ Colette
"A loving cat can mend a wounded heart." ~ Unknown Author
Alkitotle aka "Alkee", "Lambie" (July 2/04 - Oct. 2/15) -- white Devon Rex
in avatar. "Always in my heart."
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 12-17-2018, 02:34 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks will do


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