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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-16-2018, 03:58 AM Thread Starter
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Adding a new kitty to the family

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for some advice. We recently lost our six year old male Tabby Lucky. He unexpectedly went into renal failure after getting a blockage and despite the vets' best efforts he didn't make it. But when the missing has gotten a little better we are thinking of giving another kitty a chance at a good life, but what to add? A boy or a girl? We have two Siamese, boy and girl (both sterilized, never wanted to breed) and a Siamese x ?persian (looks like a long haired Siamese) girl. The boys didn't exactly get along great, but then the girls aren't exactly BFF's either. The two pure Siamese are very close and will often nap together in one bed curled up together.
We are definitely thinking young cat < 6months, I"m scared an older cat will have trouble adapting to the other three. Or as likely they will have trouble accepting an older cat into their house.
My biggest concern is that Mom wants this kitty to be hers, but I'm scared that kitty will automatically gravitate downstairs where the other three hangs out most of the time. Mom lives upstairs and I can't and don't want to confine the youngster to the upstairs part of the house. But how do you convince a cat to become a specific person's cat if all the other ones for some reason seem to gravitate towards another person?
Any advice would be much appreciated.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-17-2018, 12:31 AM
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I'm so sorry about Lucky. I lost my girl to CKD a few months ago. But Lucky was young, so that has to be very tough.

Haaa. As if you can convince a kitty to do anything other than what kitty wants to do! Can you think of any reason why kitties would tend to choose others as their humans rather than you mom? Can your mom go with you to look at kitties> That doesn't guarantee anything, of course, but at least if she picks out the kitty, she can't blame you for getting a kitty that just doesn't click with her.

I think you probably need to decide first what you're really looking for in a new kitty. Are you trying to kill two, or even three, birds with one...cat (haha)? ie, getting another kitty for yourself, providing a companion for the Siamese cross, and giving your mom a kitty that is "hers"? Would you be upset if the new kitty spent all or most of her/his time with your mom? Does your Siamese cross kitty (what are your kitties' names? that way I don't end up referring to cat 1, cat 2, cat 3... ) get along with the other two, or is she a bit left out? If your mom were the one to always feed the kitty, that would probably increase the chances that it would become "her" cat. Is that feasible, or is it even something you want?
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-17-2018, 06:15 AM Thread Starter
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@spirite, thank you. Sorry the two pure Siamese are named Cosmic and Mia, aged roughly about 10 and eight years old. Bella the floof is about four or five, not 100% certain. She was a young but fully grown kitty when we got her from the spca.
Mom is mobility impaired to use the polite phrase, she uses a wheelchair to get bye most of the time. I guess the cats choose me cause I'm the one one who fills their food bowls, run after them when they go outside and don't come back inside in due time, etc. although why Bella would choose to sleep on my bed in my cols bedroom when she can sleep in the sun or in front of the heater with mom in her room is beyond me... Cats being cats I guess. The two Siamese were raised in my bedroom from the moment i got them, I "made " them mine.
I would be more than happy if the new kitty lived upstairs with mom 24/7 as long as it doesn't run away from me, I would be perfectly satisfied (although it would be karma since Mia runs scared from everyone but me) and if it would deem to play with Bella once in a while that would be a bonus.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-17-2018, 03:36 PM
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Hi 2Siamese,

You may just be the type of person who draws kitties, for whatever reason. Two strays found their way to my door, one on the 2nd day I moved in. They seem to have serious antennae when it comes to people they can trust. I had a super skittish kitty who was afraid of just about everyone until she'd been around them for long enough to know they wouldn't eat her. She was particularly afraid of men but also of people who tended to be loud (walking heavily, shutting doors or cabinets with force, etc.).

I wonder if part of the reason your kitties tend to avoid your mom is the wheelchair. I've had 3 hip surgeries and needed crutches and a walker after each one. My kitty was absolutely terrified of them and ran from me every time I came towards her. It was probably about the noise - especially the crutches on bare floors - and the unusual way I was walking. So maybe the wheelchair moving towards the kitties makes them uncomfortable?

I would have suggested that a kitten would integrate more easily, but a kitten might want to expend energy playing with your other cats. So an adult kitty, maybe a slightly older, with a very mellow, laid-back personality, might work out better. Maybe a kitty who previously lived in a household with young children, and/or dogs?
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