So who is boss? or is anyone boss?
We have a girl, Lily, and when she was just about a year old, we got Jethro, a male. We had to keep them separate for about a month, because Lily would hiss and growl at him. We finally let them be together, and at first they were ok, Lily would even lick Jethro on the head. As time went on, Jethro chases Lily, and jumps on her at every opportunity, she sometimes acts afraid to go into a room, if she knows he is close...sometimes they play and chase each other, but sometimes not so much. Lily's hair is easy to come out, when she scuffles, I looked out on the porch one day, and there was wads of her hair, I knew her and Jethro got into it...
What I don't understand, is a lot of times, Jethro will come up to Lily, and lower his head, and she will lick him all over. I have even seen her try to smell his behind, but he doesn't like it, and will quickly turn around. I thought maybe at first she was acting "motherly", but I also read a sign of domination is one cat will "request" grooming from the other. Sometimes they lay on the bed together, or sit side by side looking out the window, when there is something really interesting to them, like another cat...then a lot of the time, if one is in the window (actually it's an old cabinet, with a countertop, and we have a stepladder so they can get up there, and look out), the other will lay on the floor, and look out the window at the bottom of the door. But when Lily has had enough of his jumping on her, or chasing her, she will jump on him, and put him in his place. Lily used to be bad about licking her sister, and then bite her on the neck, then they would get into it. I have seen her do it a couple times on Jethro, but now if things get iffy, when she is licking, one will swat air at the other, like, "Don't even think about it!"
In a way, one thing is kind of funny...when Lily was young, she had a sister, when I gave them snacks, if Jasmine finished first, she would just sit and wait for Lily to finish, but if Lily finished first, she would try to eat Jasmine's, and she would let her...but with Jethro, the tables are turned, Lily eats slow, Jethro will inhale his, and if I don't watch them, he will sneak over and eat the rest of Lily's, and she just lets him.