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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-01-2019, 02:16 PM Thread Starter
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Still not even acquaintances!

Until last year I had 2 cats. Betty was a 8 yr old and Isis was 6. Both black, short hair domestic. Betty dominant since she was really the one who adopted Isis. I was close to Betty who I now realize more matches my temperament. Isis and I were never really close since she was not affectionate.

Betty had a short bout with an aggressive oral cancer and she was gone. After 6 years it was now just me and Isis. Now she became so clingy, constantly meowing, and always wanting to be close in ways that donít work for me. Sheís on my keyboard when I type, rubbing on my journal or pen when I write, sitting on my project when I crochet or trying to sit on the tray when I bead. Iíll give her the rest of my bed but not my pillow! The constant meowing. No. Sheís not sick.

I thought maybe another cat to play with would help. Brought in Camille, set up a gate of wire shelving and followed all the steps to introduce cats. Camille is also black short hair domestic and timid. She was eager to meet Isis but after a month is just letting us pet her but keeping a distance. Little closer each week. Isis is now looking for every and any opportunity to attack Camille and screaming more than ever.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to get back to a harmonious home? My place is small and the gate is a pain. I know I sound like a bad mom but some days I wish I could just rehome them both!
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-01-2019, 02:59 PM
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I'm sorry about your loss of Betty. Do you think you'd be happier with no cats? No shame in that. If so, maybe finding a new home for each is the best thing to do.

Or if you think Camille will end up a good fit for you, find a home for just Isis. That might not be too difficult since her clinginess could be appealing to a lot of cat people. Will you be disappointed if Camille never ends up an affectionate cat?

I expect that Camille and Isis would eventually find some sort of equilibrium, but possibly not one that is your idea of life with cats.
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-01-2019, 05:54 PM
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Sounds to me that since Isis had you all to herself, but with the addition of Camille that really raised her jealousy, and doesn't want her to share in your attention and affection to her. I really think Isis wants to be your only cat. You didn't mention from where you got Camille?
Is it possible to send her back? As to Isis being a "bother" in your activities, you likely need to play with her more on a regular basis. If you're doing work that involves accuracy, try giving her a hard play period before you start your activity. Get her running around after a wand toy, or use one of those toys that she can push a ball around in the toy, but the ball doesn't come out. Turn on a nature channel, or acquarium channel to watch some fish, or get a small acquarium with a couple of gold fish in it. Have a cat tree near a window, so she can look out if that's possible. Take her for short strolls in a pet stroller (the kind where she woud be enclosed by netting). Try and have cuddle times with her at a certain time, say when you watch TV. Most animals, including cats, like a routine.....eat at the same time of day (so no free feeding), a special playtime with you with a wand toy, say before a meal. My Devons can be bothersome at times, when I'm on the computer, but they know that they have to sit beside it or in my lap or behind me on the chair, and if they walk on the keyboard, they know they will be removed from the room, and the door will close. It may take a while for Isis to catch on, but she will eventually. It's a matter of training, and rewarding when she is behaving well---with a treat or cheek scrunches and kind words. If you can't part with Camille, then try and involve them on either side of the gate to feel that good things happen when they come together. Feed them their meals gradually moving their food closer to the gate until they can eat peaceably closely on either side of the gate without Isis wanting to attack. Feed them treats at the gate and reward for good friendly behavior with kind sing song words like "Good girls!". Play with a wand toy and flip it over the gate from one cat to another. When things are going well and Isis is more interested in the treats, toy, meals than in attacking Camille, then you can try and feed them in the same room. Isis may get over her jealousy, but with animals there are no guarantees.....sometimes a cat will just detest another. All the best!

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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 10:08 AM Thread Starter
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I apologize to the forum that my post came out so frustrated. I believe having a pet is a lifetime commitment. Mine is the only home Isis has ever known. I would never re-home her even if she is a pain. There are so many animals who need homes. I believed that having lived with other cats for the majority of her life, Isis would adjust to another cat. Camille is beautiful, coming out of her timidity and I wish that they could cohabitate. If anything Camille would have to back to the organization I adopted her from. I hate to see her going back into a cage but that would be the choice ó if I could get her back into the carrier!
What I really was looking for was suggestions on how to make this work. Itís been just over a month. Am I being too impatient? Iíll continue to try getting them both to play when in sight of each other. Isis still keeps a laser focus on Camille instead of her favorite ó the laser.
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 11:49 AM
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It sounds like you're doing everything right. I know you would never rehome Isis, she's your baby. I also don't believe rehoming is a bad word. I've had to rehome a cat before:





It tore me apart, but she's in a home where she's the only cat and is spoiled rotten. I tried for over year to keep Gigi, but it wasn't fair to any of my girls. She was the tiniest of cats, but also new to the house and mean to my little twins. Nobody was happy.

catloverami has a lot of good suggestions. Especially giving them treats and feeding them near each other. It's only been a month, although I'm sure it feels like much longer. I would give it some more time. You might try putting a dab of vanilla on their backs, then rubbing Isis with a towel and using the same towel on Camille. That way, they smell the same.

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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 11:53 AM
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It's possible that Isis will never tolerate Camille. Or she might eventually become happy to have her company when she gets old; I've had that happen with a pair of male cats. I've also had a male cat (who had lost his sibling) immediately take to a younger male cat that we adopted so he'd have company. Jealous females are the worst, though, imo. I've never had any luck convincing one that she should put up with a cat she had decided not to like.

I guess cats are no different than people. They have different personalities and there's no telling in advance who they're going to be friends with.

Catloverami has some really good suggestions. Maybe they will help.
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 09-02-2019, 05:40 PM
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You may just need more time. You need to spend time with Isis to let her know that she's still important. Isis is behaving the way small children behave when a new baby comes home and they're no longer the focus of attention. However, if poor Camile is going to keep getting the crap beat out of her by Isis, that is a miserable life indeed for Camile. And rehoming would be the kindest thing for Camile. I've never had much of a problem introducing new cats into my home. However, when I brought Bogart, a stray into my home with Garfield and Augie. Augie didn't much care but Garfield took great offense. There were fights that would look like something out of a cartoon with the two of them snarling, growling and tumbling around my apartment. I remember having to grab a broom to chase them both out from under my bed a lot the first few months. But eventually, the two of them became very close and would take naps together.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-21-2019, 01:56 PM Thread Starter
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UPDATE: Still not even acquaintances!

Another month has gone by and I’m still living in the war zone. Camiel is so afraid of Isis that just the sight of her sends Camiel running. Isis is still in predator mode. When she sees Camiel she just meows as if to say, “Why is she still here?”
I tried to rehome Camiel but we could not get her into the carrier. This was after using the diffuser and a spray as well as calming treats. It was comical that a small cat could outrun and outwit 2adults. The girl who wanted her came and Camiel wouldn’t even come out for pets or treats. For a day or so she wouldn’t come near me but she will come out when I call her. She’s still timid but likes to be around me. She’ll let me pet her but not pick her up (which I’m not trying since the rehoming fiasco)
I just take turns letting them out and of course Isis maintains her spaces on my bed and on the window seat in my room.
Any more suggestions?
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 10-21-2019, 02:46 PM
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Sometimes catification of your home works, especially if one of the cats prefers to be on the floor and the other higher up. It gives the cats that are bullied some escape routes and special places up higher to be.....whether it's shelving, on top of the frig, extra cat trees. Check out some websites on "catification"....

"There are no ordinary cats.";"Time spent with a cat is never wasted."~ Colette
"A loving cat can mend a wounded heart." ~ Unknown Author
Alkitotle aka "Alkee", "Lambie" (July 2/04 - Oct. 2/15) -- white Devon Rex
in avatar. "Always in my heart."

Last edited by marie73; 10-21-2019 at 05:57 PM.
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 11-06-2019, 01:52 AM
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Watch a bunch of Jackson Galaxy videos. He has some great ideas. Often, aggression in cats is diffused by having places for the cats to get off the floor and spending time playing with the cats. He has great ideas on introducing cats and creating positive feelings when around each other. It isn't too late to start over and try again using his methods. It never seems like a good idea to have cats have nothing but each other to focus on. If you introduce play or treats around each other, they might learn to associate those good thoughts with the other.
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