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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-06-2005, 01:46 PM Thread Starter
 
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Mean!!

i love love love my cat..she is now 5 years old and ive had her since 2 months but i have a problem: shes so mean!....i mean, when i come near her she doesnt hiss and attack but if i try to sit near her and pet her she'd move away or start biting and scratching ...sometimes when shes walking around and i try to pick her up, she moves away and hates being touched....how do i make her more affectionate and less "attitude"?? is it too late??
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-06-2005, 01:52 PM
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-06-2005, 01:59 PM
 
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You want to make sure to let HER make the first move. If you try to "make" her affectionate, and she's not ready, you will make it much worse. Let her come to you. You are much bigger than her, and you *can* pick her up whenever you want. That can be threatening to a cat if they don't trust you. She needs to be able to hide when she wants, and when she hides, you cannot bring her out of her hiding spot, or she won't feel safe around you. Give her some space -- sit a few feet away from her, try not to pick her up, and don't force any contact with her. This way, she'll know that you are not a threat, and you are not aggressive, and hopefully she'll start to relax, and come to YOU, or at least tolerate it when you move closer to her for petting. It might take some time, but it has to happen if you want her to calm down.

Is she spayed? If she's not, she should be. This could have a MAJOR affect on her personality.
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-06-2005, 04:05 PM
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When you're sitting a bit away from her, talk to her in soft tones. Or if that seems weird, read softly aloud from a book. After a while, she'll probably come out to look at you. Don't immediately reach out to touch her. Say hi to her and put your hand out to let her sniff if she chooses. No sudden movements or she'll back away again. After a time she may come and lay closer to you.

This is a daily thing to do and you won't get immediate results, but it helps.

Also check out Dr. Jean's Spirit essences. I think she has one called grouch or something like that. I've used the essences for other things and they are great!
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-06-2005, 07:00 PM
 
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Since you've had your kitty for 5 years now, it's going to be really hard to get her to change her behavior. She's not being particularly "attitude-y" or "mean" - some cats just don't like being picked up, touched, petted, etc. except when THEY want it. I'm thinking that you want some changes now, take the great pointers above, and LOTS O' patience is the key at this point.
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-06-2005, 07:21 PM
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has she always been like this? If so, there might not be a whole lot you can do. But if she recently became more aggressive there might be something wrong.

Cats usually hide pain, but sometimes if there is something wrong like they hurt, are sick, or have some other problem going on they can begin to act out.

Have you discussed her behavior with a vet? They may be able to point you in the right direction.

Jessie

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-07-2005, 01:06 PM
 
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Angel is 4 1/2 years old and I adopted her only 2 months ago. She was very mistrusting. Never wanted to be touched or held. If she wasn't declawed we would have very soar hands. We have taken it very slow, paid attention to when she is annoyed and left her alone. She is really coming around. I let her come to me and then I pet her for 30 seconds and walk away before she gets annoyed. I also let her sniff my face and hands before touching her and I leave her alone when she is in a corner or she gets very aggitated. I have done this for weeks and she lets me pet her more often now. She follows me everywhere and sleeps at my feet. I never pick her up unless I have to, when I do she meows but she doens't try and get down. It is a slow process but it is possible for an older mistrusting cat to come around.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-07-2005, 03:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Is she spayed? If she's not, she should be. This could have a MAJOR affect on her personality.
Just curious, do female cats become more affection AFTER spaying? I heard they get affectionate before they go into heat. My Sqeakers is getting spayed on Wednesday, and I'm wondering if that will take away some of her edginess...
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-09-2005, 01:13 PM
 
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It should. Females who keep going into heat and cannot mate become pretty edgy and uncomfortable. I'm glad you're getting her spayed -- it's much healthier for her, and she'll be much more comfortable. And there won't be that icky risk of ovarian cancer.
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 01-09-2005, 03:23 PM
 
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spaying

Quote:
Originally Posted by Anne5459
Quote:
Originally Posted by ForJazz
Just curious, do female cats become more affection AFTER spaying? I heard they get affectionate before they go into heat. My Sqeakers is getting spayed on Wednesday, and I'm wondering if that will take away some of her edginess...
In my case, definitely. Sophie went from Mrs. Bi*ch to Mrs. Oh-my-god-I-love-you-don't-leave-me-ever following the operation. Now, if only that worked on step-mothers...
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