Unfortunately, with a cat who doesn't like to be held or picked up, the more you attempt to pick up and hold him, the more he will dislike it and the "meaner" he will get. I've met a lot of cats who go through a very "untouchable" period between 6-18 months (it's like dealing with a teenager who doesn't want hugs from mom and dad). All touching has to be on their terms or they'll fight it, and will get violent if they have to, just to get their point across. Neutering may well help with this, but it also may just take time for him to get through his adolescent phase. Kids especially can (inadvertantly) be very offensive to cats because of their quick movements, high voices, and exuberant energy....they don't mean to do it, but it happens. My cat, BTW, is downright dangerous around kids (cannot be exposed to them at all, ever, under any circumstances) and unpredictable with strangers (especially women), and was very hard to deal with for about the first year she lived with us, so sometimes these things take quite some time to even begin to resolve. I lost track of how many times in thise first months Assumpta spazzed out and clawed, bit, growled, hissed, and just generally acted like she wanted me dead. All I could do was provide a quiet and predictable enviroment and let her come to me when she decided she wanted to...I think if I had pushed the issue or forced her, she'd be a very different cat today.