Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: South Wales, UK
Seventh Epistle of Sheba
THE SEVENTH EPISTLE OF SHEBA
Having taken a short trip into the history of the Queendom, I thought I’d fill you in on some more current events.
One of the servants has a painful ear. This is the servant with small holes in her ears from which she sometimes suspends small, dangly cat toys. These particularly appeal to Baz (the giant idiot) who has developed the knack of detaching them from her ears so that we can all chase them around the floor. The aim of the activity is to hit it somewhere where the servant can’t find it before she can retrieve it. They call these small toys “earrings”.
On this occasion, however, she had made the mistake of wearing ones that did not detach so easily from her ear lobe. Baz got his foot entangled in it.
While servants’ ears may be strong enough to suspend small cat toys from them, they are not strong enough to carry the weight of a giant idiot. Baz emerged from the experience unscathed; the servant’s ear was bleeding; the hook of the earring resembled a pretzel. I don’t think it is ever going to become fashionable in human circles to wear huge black and white cats on one ear but himans are strange so who can tell?
We had some excitement last week when Zac escaped. The servants NEVER let him out but he has ambitions to become an intrepid explorer. The servants are very skilled at tackling him during escape attempts but on this occasion he managed to elude them. He did prove the fact that he is an explorer by going three whole gardens away and we haven’t heard the end of it since. I think that news can’t have spread too far about his escape as the army did not place a cordon around the gardens which I think they would have done if they had realised that a dangerous twin was on the loose.
Since the servants were using food to try to tempt him back, we all had extra snacks as well. If I was heavy enough to turn the handle I could release him every time the rest of us felt peckish.
Shortly after his escape, there were some very strange noises coming from our garden. Zac had returned to the premises and was two thirds of the way up the apple tree. Also up the apple tree were two large and noisy black and white birds that we often see through the window. He was yelling threats at them and they were laughing at him. It seemed that he was trying to hit them as they flew and hopped very close to him; on the other hand he may have been trying to stop them carrying him off to their nest.
This was exceedingly good entertainment and we all gathered on the living room windowsill to watch events progress. The servants were standing in the back door which gave them a good view as well – they wouldn’t have been able to fit on the windowsill . Tabitha (the other twin) was taking bets as to what would happen. There were several possibilities including Zac landing on a bird which would then fly off him, him falling out of the tree, him being unable to ever get out of the tree and him being eaten by the birds. In the end, they got fed up of teasing him and flew off laughing raucously.
He came down not long afterwards and returned back to the rest of us trying to pretend that he had been in charge in the bird incident. Even the giant idiot, whom I love but have no illusions about, wasn’t stupid enough to believe that.
He has made several other escape attempts since but the servants are being particularly wary.
Anyway, that’s all from the Queendom for now.
Rubs and purrs.