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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-16-2019, 08:23 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2019
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New Person

Came here for a place to process through grief and to help get a better understanding of what happened to my cat and how other's have dealt with the aftermath of loss.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-17-2019, 11:48 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Cobourg, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 5,140
Processing grief at loss of pet

Everyone grieves in a different way. For me, I don't like to grieve for long, and find getting another kitten/cat helps to distract my mind from grief as I'm too busy bonding with it, feeding, etc. Nothing like a new kitten to help with that. I also have the belief that we will see our beloved pets in the spiritual world which is consolation for me. Over many years of cat ownership, I've had two cats come back to me "in spirit" after they died, one came twice, and the other just once. Any of my cats or other pets (rabbits and budgie) that died were not cremated but were buried in my garden. My religious faith does not permit cremation, and the body must be buried in the ground.

Here's a ink that I think is good in it's observations and recommendations to help with the loss:

I hope this is helpful for you.....all the best!

"There are no ordinary cats.";"Time spent with a cat is never wasted."~ Colette
"A loving cat can mend a wounded heart." ~ Unknown Author
Alkitotle aka "Alkee", "Lambie" (July 2/04 - Oct. 2/15) -- white Devon Rex
in avatar. "Always in my heart."
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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-18-2019, 07:42 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,264
Loss is painful, grief is real, it can be intense. Some people will say "What's the matter with you, it's only a cat, just get another" and that just hurts extra. One might as easily say, "what's the matter, it's only your house that burned down, get another." In my opinion, those people have no empathy and best be ignored, just as you'd ignore a color-blind person's ideas on color combinations - they don't get it at all.

For some people getting a new cat quickly really helps. For others it does not, it feels wrong and disloyal not to give a certain space for grief to burn through.

Every grief is unique, too. All one can really do is live through it. True but not very helpful: time will help. Try to focus on the joys you had and the blessing of love in your life. There is no fixing the past. Do not be surprised by later sudden grief welling up unexpectedly (for me, usually in a very inconvenient place and time).

Much sympathy on your loss. Been there often myself, know how bad it hurts.
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