Life lessons, beauty tips, and survival tips - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-29-2010, 06:50 PM Thread Starter
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Life lessons, beauty tips, and survival tips

First, some life lessons from a fat cat =)

Fat cat's life lesson #1, one must steal hannaford bags from humans and use them as beds

(^^really shows off his moose-ish-ness)

Fat cat's life lesson #2, when attacked with camera flashes one must put ears back and try to look mean


Fat cat's life lesson #3, as a feline it is your obligation to sleep in ways that man finds off and uncomfortable


Fat cat's life lesson #4, smile when your sleeping, it helps with the beauty rest


Fat cat's life lesson #5, when woken up from beauty rest, beware of crazy humans with cameras, flash may cause temporary blindness


Fat cat's life lesson #6, hover over the food dish so no other cats can steal your food


Fat cat's life lesson #7, boxes are the ultimate bed


Fat cat's life lesson #8, protect your paper bags at all costs


Fat cat's life lesson #9, toy mice are the way to go, you can't beat 'em


Fat cat's life lesson #10, do not let crazy humans hold you like an infant, you will regret it



Beauty tips from the queen

Beauty tip #1, sleeping in a small ball will preserve one's fur, decreasing the chance of bed head


Beauty tip #2, washing yourself in a window will dry it quickly and decrease the chance of frizz


Beauty tip #3, sleeping in a window will expose you to wind which adds a great amount of volume to your fur


Beauty tip #4, sleeping on your humans clothes will comfort you and speed up the beauty process of beauty sleep


Beauty tip #5, hiding under a messy dresser will keep you away from other cats that may mess up your fur


Beauty tip #6, following the above tips will make you look larger which will come in handy when fending off others



Athena was spayed on friday and would like to share her survival skills on how to survive your trip to the vet


Survival tip #1, ALWAYS wash yourself thoroughly before your visit


Survival tip #2, upon returning home, lay in the middle of the living room exposing your incision to make your humans feel bad for you


Survival tip #3, threaten to commit suicide, then they'll never send you back

(we have a catwalk that goes above our living room and she thought it would be a good idea to hang off the side )

Survival tip #4, relaxation, relaxation, relaxation (remember to be proper!)


Survival tip #5, once your humans have pitied you enough, follow them wherever they go, and make sure they're on the Cat Forum!

(note on the computer screen is this forum =] )


Enjoy =)
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 02:25 AM
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Re: Life lessons, beauty tips, and survival tips

I your babies! I love the FatCat's smile, The b/w long-hair's first pic (my eyesight isn't the greatest) ... I thought it was a skunk, but don't tell her! ... and the Tortie is lovely.



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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 03:31 AM
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Re: Life lessons, beauty tips, and survival tips

Hahah! Very cute! Lovely life lessons from your kitties!

Rachael with Thurston, Sully and Ninja.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 09:02 AM
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Re: Life lessons, beauty tips, and survival tips

Great pictures and captions!

I've wondered about those two-story foyers in houses where the second floor hallway looks over the living room, as far as cats (and kids, but that's another story). Your kitty just hangs over the edge and doesn't try to jump?


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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 06-30-2010, 10:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Life lessons, beauty tips, and survival tips

The way that ours is set up is the stairway on the left side of out living room and you go up the stairs and you can go left and there is two bedrooms or you can go right and over the catwalk and that leads into an open room. We've never had a cat that has tried to jump off and we've had cats in this house for 15+ years. We have had a cat fall off of it once and onto the living room floor more than once. When Grady was younger he thought he'd be smart and jump on the railings and he was just a kitten and missed the railing and fell right down, but landed on his feet and was fine. And then there was the one time that he jumped from the edge into our recliner that is below it. Our cats like to get on the railing and walk across them. Most of the time they do this because we have a skylight above the railing on our ceiling and when it storms the water runs down it and you can see the water falling so they watch that. And the only problem with kids is them dropping things down (although one time my mother was sitting on the couch and got a can of pepsi dropped on her head from a kid that pushed it off the edge of the floor), but like you said, that's a different story =). I'll try to get a picture of it to show you how it's set up.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 11:59 AM
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Re: Life lessons, beauty tips, and survival tips

I love the fat cat life lesson #6! When we first got Jinx, he was protective of his food. His bowl is round and slightly bigger than his face, so he would put one paw right next to the bowl, one paw on top of his food on one side, and hover his head over the bowl, eating from the side that wasn't covered with his paw.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 02:14 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Life lessons, beauty tips, and survival tips

That sounds like our kitten. We found her in a parking lot so when she realized that she had food she went crazy and for months she would eat with her front paws in the dish so she hovered over it. Then we have Checkers and she uses her paws to scoop the food out of the dish and then eats it off the floor which leaves crumbs for us to step on. Little pieces of food hurt when you step on them right!
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 03:16 PM
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Re: Life lessons, beauty tips, and survival tips

Our new cat, Phoenix, is quarantined in our master bathroom right now. I don't know why, but for some reason he uses his bottom front teeth to push the food against the the side of the bowl then scoops it up into his mouth. Needless to say, he misses his mouth every so often and there is food all over our bathroom floor. (Despite that I think he is still eating about twice as much every day as he is supposed to be!) It doesn't help that his dining room is also his play room so he scatters the food everywhere. I refuse to go into the bathroom anymore unless I have my slippers on.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 04:19 PM
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Re: Life lessons, beauty tips, and survival tips

Hehe... I love the story line! This post really made me smile.
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 07-01-2010, 06:15 PM
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Re: Life lessons, beauty tips, and survival tips

My 5 fosters came to me half starved. Two of them are food aggressive and will growl, hiss, swat and bite at the other kitties. One is more aggressive than the other. Both have got better, though the *very* aggressive one is still a little to reactive and I have been sitting with them at canned food time, just petting her to keep her relaxed and if I feel her begin to tense or growl, I just push my palm against her shoulders so she has to keep all four feet on the floor or face-plant and it distracts her and she forgets about swiping at her siblings.
She's been doing wonderful this past half-week and I may not have to sit with them and monitor her for much longer. I think they (she) just needed time to learn there would *always* be food.



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