Dear Diary - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 05:03 AM Thread Starter
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Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

I'm abandoned. Out of sheer spite, for the last 2 hours I've been subjected to painful absence of jowl-scratching. The authorities have apparently decided to continue this torture until they come back from work. I'm not sure my psyche will be able to endure that long. I may have to scratch myself, like an abandoned cat.

Dear Diary,

I've at long last been able to arrange for myself a normal place to sleep. I succeeded in finally pulling the authorities' bathrobe down to the bathroom floor and, though I had to wrestle fiercely with the belt, I managed to beat him down and snuggle in the bathrobe. I was only lucky because the authorities were too much in a hurry for work to cruelly steal the robe from me.

(Tribute to "Diary of a Sad Cat" - YouTube)

Any more cats here who keep a diary?

The Royal von Meouw Dynasty: His Royal Highness the late Prince von Meouw,
Her Royal Highness Princess Gatita von Meouw, Nikita Duchess of Meouw and
His Highness Cuchi-Cuchi, next in line for the throne of Prince von Meouw.
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 09:50 AM
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Two from this morning...

Dear Diary,
It was with horror that I found the authority snoozing even after his 5 a.m. alarm had sounded. My attempts at augmenting the alarm by continually jumping up and down on the authority's chest were only met with croaky sounds of unappreciation.
Nala

Dear Diary,
Today I revealed my creative, free thinking spirit by toiling through the night shredding and unrolling the paper thingy in the bathroom. My artistry not only went unthanked, the authority (rather amusingly) attempted to roll the shredded paper back onto the cardboard tube. It must be a game! I shall now find something else to shred for him.
Penny


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Jeff & Nala
Simon and Penny, waiting patiently at the Bridge
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 11:34 AM
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Dear Diary,
Today I was super excited because there were lots of flies on the kitchen screen! I tried to get some, but they flew around, so I could only half kill one of them. I was still so excited when I was on the cat tree, so I was rolling around, and mom looked at me like I was crazy. Just for that, I pretended to rub my head on her hand then bit her! That look on her face! I good her good. —Billi

Dear Diary,
I'm hungry as usual, but I don't want the food in the kitchen. Agh, all this thinking got me super tired, so I think I will lie down for a while. What a hard life I have! Now I'm hungry again...wait, maybe I'm sleepy. Hmm I'm not sure, so I think I will give it a good though.............zZZzzzZZZ —Aloo
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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 11:41 AM
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Aha that's my favourite youtube video! One from right this moment.

Dear Diary,

The authorities have closed the windows. Ever since I saw that wild cat, they have taken to torturing my senses by closing off my only access to the outside world. The next time the windows open I will not fail in my attempts to break through the screen and escape.

Now it seems as if the authorities have deemed this infernal tapping machine more interesting than me. Two can play at that game, I shall cut off their access to the machine until they deem it appropriate to reinstate my access to the outside world.

adfnjlkanjgbujr'a fdjakn ;lfka'k.
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 03:19 PM
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Dear Diary,

My goofy owner amused herself by looking at pictures of cupcakes last night so I seized the opportunity to destroy a roll of paper towels she left down where I could get it. it was FUN. I don't know why she seems so annoyed when I go to all that trouble to make confetti for her.
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 03:32 PM
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Dear Diary,
Today I was in the kitchen screaming at the authorities so they would let me out on the balcony. They couldn't even hear the squirrel encroaching on my territory, how dumb are they? After what seemed like hours of screaming, they finally let me out with that humiliating harness. Still, I was able to chase the thing away. Without me, before they knew it, there would be squirrels and mice running all over, <sigh>. Still, I hope they come back soon cause I'm hungry.
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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 03:44 PM
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Dear Diary,
This morning I was stuffed into a mesh bag and toted off to the doctor woman that keeps poking me in the eye! She whispers sweetly as she pokes and prods and I can't understand her but I know she is hoping my eyeballs will just fall out on their own! oh, why do they continually torture me this way? Afterwards my slave human (who I used to trust) puts wet drops in my eyes claiming it's for my own good. The only up side is the abundance of snacky things after each tortuous dose!

Dear Diary,
I hate the new cat tree and the 5 of us have continued to boycott it. We are in solidarity that we will not touch it - yet it remains!!

Cat owners' prayer: "Lord help me be the person my cat thinks I am"
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-12-2013, 03:57 PM Thread Starter
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Dear Diary,

Today is the 2nd anniversary of the "Dark Day of Betrayal". I've never fully trusted the authorities again since they smeared that ointment in my eye. They haven't done it again, but I must be alert.

The Royal von Meouw Dynasty: His Royal Highness the late Prince von Meouw,
Her Royal Highness Princess Gatita von Meouw, Nikita Duchess of Meouw and
His Highness Cuchi-Cuchi, next in line for the throne of Prince von Meouw.
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-13-2013, 12:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcia View Post
Dear Diary,
Dear Diary,
I hate the new cat tree and the 5 of us have continued to boycott it. We are in solidarity that we will not touch it - yet it remains!!
put treats on the different levels and see what they do.
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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 07-23-2013, 04:49 AM Thread Starter
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Dear Diary,

I can see the authorities preparing the lethal poison injection now. In a minute or so, they'll apply it to the back of my neck and I'll feel the smell of death. Then all my fleas will flee. I know; it happens every month. Goodbye, cruel world. This is my last entry.

The Royal von Meouw Dynasty: His Royal Highness the late Prince von Meouw,
Her Royal Highness Princess Gatita von Meouw, Nikita Duchess of Meouw and
His Highness Cuchi-Cuchi, next in line for the throne of Prince von Meouw.
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