Dear Dog and Cat, - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-24-2004, 03:05 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 771
Dear Dog and Cat,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food.. (Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate & food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food & dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.)

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. (I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.)

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I
entered. (In addition, I have been using the bathroom for
years...canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cats' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front
door.....

RULES FOR NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:

1. They live here; you don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the
furniture.
3. I like my pet better than I like most people.
4. To you it's an animal. To me he and/or she is an adopted son and/or
daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech
challenged.

Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink or smoke, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, and they don't need a gazillion dollars for college.
Payge is offline  
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-24-2004, 03:08 AM
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 2,270
*lol* That's great, Payge I especially like the rules for non-pet owners....I may print them out and hang them up!
Ianthe is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-24-2004, 03:29 AM
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 265
That is soooo funny!!!

Quote:
4. To you it's an animal. To me he and/or she is an adopted son and/or
daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech
challenged.
I love it!!!
malcolmsmom is offline  
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-24-2004, 08:40 AM
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 55
Hahahaha!! that was too funny!!! Great morning laugh [/quote]
joann2872 is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-25-2004, 11:28 AM
Premier Cat
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Austin, Tx
Posts: 11,281
Re: Dear Dog and Cat,

Quote:
Originally Posted by Payge
Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
Hehehe this is every night for me and Sugar........
kitkat is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-23-2004, 11:06 AM
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 787
.

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww that's so hilarious!
22Raiynee22 is offline  
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