I had a blast when I read these - I may find some more in time ..util then enjoy the 40 posted
It Ran, Suh! I offered it a coating of 11 herbs and spices and it ran, Suh! So I shot it, Suh, shot it while it was trying to escape, suh!
Do not under-estimate the powers of the road, or suffer the butcher's block you will!
Whaddaya want, it should just stand there?
Because Big Brother was watching to make sure that it did cross the road, although in its heart, the chicken never did.
5.Jabba the Hut:
I have little use for chickens who drop their eggs at first sign of a cross-walk.
The confluence of events in the cultural gesalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
7.James Tiberius Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
8.Any Late Evening News Anchor:
The chicken crosses the road. Film at 11:00.
9.Ben Stone (Law and Order):
Because the defendant made it, sir.
For the money
11.The Red Queen:
Who cares? Off with it's head!
Because I fired him!
With my last breath I spit at the chicken...
To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.
The chicken is dead. The road is nothing.
16.Darth Vader (2):
The circle is now comlete. When I left you, I was a chick... Now, I am the rooster!
It was a historical inevitability.
To see what's out there.
Chicken, phone home
The chicken crossed the road in order to get away from the flock that is stifling his creativity.
Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
To justify the ways of God to men.
23.The White Rabbit:
It was late!
Was it pushing a rock, too?
How many roads must a chicken travel down, before they call him a man?
'Cause I invited it to come up and see me sometime.
Because ch-ch-chickens are such very s-s-s-small animals.
28.Microsoft Chicken (TM):
It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your frame of reference.
To cross the road less traveled by.
Because the Force was with it.
32.Edgar Allan Poe:
Quoth the chicken,"Nevermore!"
Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket !
Crossing the road is irrelevant. It will be assimilated.
Well, I think that...say, that's a lovely shirt you're wearing.
To break on through to the other side, I am the chicken king
Frankly my dear, it didn't give a ****!
Because it could not stop for death.
One small step for chickenkind, one giant leap for poultry.