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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-10-2004, 03:24 PM Thread Starter
 
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Holiday Eating tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn
into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!


3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.


4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them
behind, you're never going to see them again.


8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-10-2004, 04:43 PM
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Now I'm hungry!
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-10-2004, 10:18 PM
 
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Haha, that was cute.
My boyfriend would agree with the eggnog tip.

I think I am the only person who absolutely LOVES fruit cake. I think it is amazing (if made right, of course) and I could eat an entire loaf of it.

--Roze
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-10-2004, 11:16 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BaileyAndSammi
I think I am the only person who absolutely LOVES fruit cake. I think it is amazing (if made right, of course) and I could eat an entire loaf of it.
I am scared of fruit cake

ewwww I have a thing against most dried fruits!!
When I was probably in grade 5 or so I ate a piece of fondant that had fallen off a piece of fruit cake on to the table. My dad thought I had picked it off the cake so he made me eat the slice.

I threw it all back up almost as soon as it was down!!

I am 27 and we still augh about that
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-12-2004, 05:10 PM
 
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YUMMY!!!!!! Eggnog. Thanks for sharing the eating rules, I didn't realize that carrot sticks were an alarm raiser.

I love fruitcake, if it's properly done, like Roze. But bad versions are common, no wonder people get turned off.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-13-2004, 06:32 PM
Tom Cat
 
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LoveMyKitties- You're funny! Thanks for the advice!


*still laughing*


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