This is so funny!
Would a cat by any other name be still a cat?
All cat owners will recognize the following
descriptions for cats.
Aquarium: interactive television for cats.
Cat: a lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer
a four footed allergen
a small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist
a small, furry lap fungus
a treat-seeking missile
a wildlife control expert impersonator
one who sleeps in old, empty pizza boxes
a hair relocation expert
an unprogrammable animal
a four-legged, furry, meowing alarm clock
furry keyboard cover
a roaming bag of attitude
a small homicidal Muffin with legs (referring to kittens)
a tastefully designed organic alarm clock
a vibrating hot water bottle with fur
Cataclysm: any great upheaval in a cat's life.
Catatonic: a feline medicinal drink.
Caterpillar: a soft scratching post for a cat.
Cat Scan: to look for a new cat.
Dog: a cat's device for running practice.
Door: something a cat always wants to be on the other side of.
Energy: the element of vitality cats always have an oversupply of until you try to play with them.
Human: an automatic door opener for cats.
Impurrsonate: to act like the cat.
Kitten: a small homicidal muffin on legs; affects human sensibilities to the point of endowing the most wanton and ruthless acts of destruction with near-mythical overtones of cuteness. Not recommended for beginners. Get at least two.
Purrade: an organized march of cats.
Purradise: the garden of Cats.
Purramour: a cat lover.
Purranoia: the fear that your cat is up to something.
Purraphernalia: a cat's personal belongings.
Purrch: any favored feline napping spot.
Purrchase: anything bought for a cat.
Purrfume: the scent of an open can of tuna.
Purrgatory: a houseful of kittens.
Purrmission: a feline hunting expedition.
Purrpetual: everlasting feline love.
Purrplex: a house with two or more cats.
Purrson: a male kitten.
Purrsuit: the garment your shedding cat rubs against just as you are leaving home to go to an important meeting.
Purrverse: a poem about a wicked kitty.
Tooraloorailurophobia: an irrational fear of Irish cats.
Tuner: sonar-like device in cat food that causes cats to appear.
Yawn: a cat's honest opinion openly expressed.