5 Things your Cat knows about You
You are bigger than they are:
This they discovered the first time you accidentally stepped on them.
You are a great source of food:
And it must amaze cats, who no doubt see us as ponderous, clawless buffoons with a bowling ball's brain and a physique to match, yet every day we supply them with tasty cat food.
You are easily manipulated:
Walk a mile in your cat's collar and you'll see that you are the proverbial pushover. Your needs as far as your cat goes are simple: the desire to be loved; the desire to sleep undisturbed, and to figure out your taxes without meows, yelps, and howls from the help of a furry-footed paper-scattering critter.
You are slower than they are:
They can click on their power-booster jet rockets and fly into another room in a blur and hide in a spot in our house you don't know exists and can never find.
You aren't particularly bright:
A cat knows the true meaning of life, but he's not sharing the secret with us - he knows when he's got a good thing going.