> Things Cats Must Remember
> Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
> I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside
> to chase leaves.
> If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to
> stay there until I get hungry.
> The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not
> watch him constantly.
> If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
> I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and
> growl at nothing right after my human has finished watching "The
> Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely
> No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's
> earrings are not cat toys.
> The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it
> by swatting bits of it all over the floor.
> I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.
> I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall
> screaming at it will not bring it any closer.
> It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it
> all dissolves in the boiling coffee.
> If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a
> She will notice if I start eating it from the other end.
> The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its
> I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.
> The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will
> freak out every time I see it.
> If I must give a present to my human's overnight guests, my toy mouse
> is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it
> isn't as tasty.
> As talented as I may be with kitty litter, my human will not be
> impressed with
> my attempts to build sand castles in the litter box.