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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 07-27-2009, 07:44 PM Thread Starter
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Sirens and Siamese [updated daily]

I'd spent the day tying down loose ends. (My contact in Alabama had spotted Dirk the cat slipping out of a cargo plane,Tyson the Rottweiler wanted to know if we were still on for hoops Thursday) My-OUR order had arrived. Kurt had sent out for Thai,and was busy with a carton of garlic shrimp,while I sat down to a boneless chicken leg. Some people think P.I.s are careless eaters,living on greasy spoon fare,heedless of heart,colon,or liver. This is a misconception. To bag the bad guys,you MUST watch what you eat! I DO. I watch it from container,to dish,to me!
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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-07-2009, 03:28 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Sirens and Siamese [updated daily]

As I munched,I mused. My last big case was lauded as a huge success by the 4 footed community. I'd gotten more cases on the strength of it...yet...I'd done little to actually solve it. Daisy,the white persian had come back on her own-and in a family way. The whole thing had been set in motion by someone shooting 9 mm into the air-randomly. All I'd done was beat the bushes. In a brushfire. I switched on the T.V. hopped along to my h2o. The glacier of ice cubes had melted somewhat on this muggy July night. Why didn't Kurt break em up? Afraid I'd choke? Laverne and Shirley was coming on! I was starting to savor the thought of a quiet night,when somebody pawed the screen. Muttering, I hit MUTE,hopped up on the windowsill. "Yeah?" A white paw gracefully lifted the screen-and in walked trouble. She had fur white like rice paint,pink downy ears,and Ming vase blue eyes. 1-2 years old,siamese,I thought. A collar adorned her neck-from which hung a tiny stone of real jade. "Is that chicken I smell?" And, following her imperial nose to my saucer,took a nibble. "Needs soy sauce."
Our way,yes our way...
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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 08-20-2009, 04:34 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Sirens and Siamese [updated daily]

Something to remember when playing Basketball with a Rottweiller:never mention the Raptors. Tyson won by 10 points Thursday afternoon,and kept doggin' me all the way back to his place. We got there just as the ice cream truck was idling down the road,playing THE STING. Tyson ducked into his house,marked 600 1/4 Mill Creek rd, drank out of a huge red bowl markedTYSON (so as not to confuse him with any other hulking,pampered rottweillers),and began to ask about my new case. ("I hear she's real mysterious,she lives above a restaurant,husband bought it on the interstate""...THEY SAY..." I let him go on. Trick of the trade:someone wants to poke around in your business,let em. You'd be surprised,the things you hear. MYSTERIOUS could indeed describe Chan-Chan. So could a lot of other words. She DID share an apartment with some humans who owned the THAI DELITEFUL restaraunt,she saw my name on an order slip,and looked up the address. And yeah she was a widow. These days...
I stopped. A low growl floated from the shadowy dusk of the big yard. My fur stood on end. "PERCY... I'M GONNA GET YOU!"
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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 09-14-2009, 11:19 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Sirens and Siamese [updated daily]

I froze,whiskers twitching. Tyson scowled. The berry-bush by the rusted-out old lawn mower. 2 yellow eyes glared out,and then the bush exploded as the lurking stranger pounced. I found myself pinned by...
"Dolly?!" "You never came to visit!" The gray toned tyke had grown somewhat. "What,were you waiting for my 'gray cuteness' to turn to 'silver beauty'?!" "You read it?" "I DO visit the forum you kn-hey!' I'd gently flipped her over.
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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 09-28-2009, 01:58 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Sirens and Siamese [updated daily]

Regaining her feet,she found a moving object on which to vent her anger. Her own tail,as it turned out. Frustrated she pqainfully flounced off. Me and Tyson shared a look. "Elevenses."

At some point in a cats development,he-or she-hasn't quite...GROWN IN to everything yet. Your ears no longer flop,but they FLIP,and seem to turn of their own accord. Your tail always drifts into striking range,each paw seems independent of the other,and your whiskers itch,a little. At about 1 year old everything falls into place.. But this happens just prior to that landmark. We cats call it the Elevenses.
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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 10-17-2009, 10:26 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Sirens and Siamese [updated daily]

"OVER THE RIVER AND THROUGH THE WOODS TO GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE WE GOOOOO...!" As the ancient, pitted Chrysler crawled the ancient, pitted streets, I began to sing..and I remembered MY Grandmother,how she was fond of saying... "SHADDUP,PERCY!" That,not from my Grandmother,but from Pablo,another P.I.,and a fellow orange-striper. "I'm allowing you to tag along,because our cases seem to cross paths;stop your cater-WHOAH!" Pothole. Suddenly,our 3 carriers shifted,and the view improved. I found myself face to face (if thru bars) with Chan-Chan. With those robin's egg blue eyes. She held my gaze,licked a toe. "Er,I think" she said "That we should review the facts at hand" WHAT-oh,yeah ,the case.

"Once again,how did your husband die?" She toyed with the bars. "Apparent suicide. Just walked out into traffic." Did she believe that? No. Had he ingested anything-antifreeze human drugs,alcohol? Of COURSE not.
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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 11-23-2009, 05:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Sirens and Siamese [updated daily]

ker-THUNK! Another pothole,the driver cursed in Spanish,carriers slid,and this time I found myself with Pablo. Nuts. Breath redolent with mackerel,he put in HIS 2 cents. "DIANEXT/MING Might be doing experiments on animals,and since it's not too far from the stretch of highway YOU'RE checking out,I arranged for the limo ride." "ker-choo." "Bless you,homes." "Thanks amigo,but that wasn't ..."ker-choo!" I turned. "Chan-Chan,too much wind?" There came the sound of small claws struggling for a purchase on 30-odd year old upholstery. A face appeared at the door of my carrier. "Too much smoke-KER-CHOO!" My whiskers shot out like they do when I'm really annoyed. "Dolly." "Percy,I can be a HELP! ALL good P.I.s need an assistant!" Yes. Except she don't do smokey rooms.
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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-02-2010, 03:51 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Sirens and Siamese [updated daily]

11:07 p.m. Bratislava,Ohio
The old print shop stood vacant,all orange bricks,dark windows,and tantalizing smells. I shuffled my paws. "Are you SURE there's clues in here?" Pablo stood,eyes glinting in the inky dark. "I've heard this is a hangout for D/M animals-the ones that got out. I saw a truck idling right over there,one night"-he pointed to a hidden drive- If you want to pursue your own thing..." " No. Tell you what. I'LL check this place out. YOU get these 2 to 'Grandmother's house'. His eyes narrowed. "you owe me 1 now,gato.' If Chan-Chan or Dolly minded,they kept quiet. Maybe I'd get an earful later.
"Never enter a vacant buidling alone." -The Percy P.I. handbook.
After tonight, I'd revise just a little bit. "Never EVER enter a vacant building alone".
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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-07-2010, 02:12 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Sirens and Siamese [updated daily]

The place still smelled like ink. Closed for 2 years,the scratchy,heavy scent still lingered like a jailbirds ghost. THAT'S A COMFORTING THOUGHT! In the dark,in the quiet,,the place was perfect for one of those reality shows where they look for ghosts. I hopped down from the rusty metal desk on which I'd hopped wriggling in the window, down onto the threadbare carpet of the abandoned office. Ahead,where a door had been ripped off its hinges,total darkness. Now,it wasn't like I was SCARED. No...in unfamiliar surroundings,a cats senses come alive! It was the adrenal rush of being on the scene,of... 'SKREEK!' I sought a better vantage point- under the desk. Something swooped,then glided out the not--quite-rectangular window,taking wing into the night. 'Just a bat,you scairdey-cat!' I chided myself.

The hallway was almost completely dark. When humans abandon a building,sometimes they leave behind...IMPRESSIONS. Vibes,dude. In the apartment me and Kurt share,you get the impressions of former inhabitants,some from way back,from before the house was divided up into apartments... The psi equivalent of chicken soup boiling on the stove. In the old youngstown jail,you get despair,anger,fear,desparation. But this place. Nothing lingered. Because something was there. Something... I found myself letting my claws click on the floor,anything to break the silence. Gang graffitti, red on the walls, like a notice of warning at the entrance to the underworld. I came to 2 doors.
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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-19-2010, 04:08 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Sirens and Siamese [updated daily]

From behind the 1st,came the smell of ciggie butts,long-spilled beer,and a faint whiff of blood. The other, I had a FEELING about. GOOD? BAD? ...Compelling.Each open just a crack. Which one would YOU choose?
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