Making assumptions about people... {rant} - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 06:47 PM Thread Starter
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Making assumptions about people... {rant}

The following situation happened to me last week on the day that my MIL passed away so I just threw it on the backburner because of everything else going on.

Now that life is starting to come back to the "norm" for us I can't get this situation out of my head. It shouldn't bother me so much, nor surprise me, as I've encountered things like this before but this one really just T'd me off.

Last Monday we knew that MIL was dying and, rather than wait until she actually did pass away, hubby and I decided that we would take a much-needed break from the monotony of the hospital bedside and went up to the nursing home where she resided to clean out her belongings and bring them home.

We had been there all of about 15 minutes or so and were just about ready to leave when hubby went out to the nurse's station to ask for a garbage bag. While he was out I heard someone a few doors down the hall explaining to one of the residents that she was from some "official" board overseeing the care given in nursing homes (I forget the actual organization name) and that she was just going to be meandering the halls for a while to see how people were being cared for.

A few minutes later she ended up at my MIL's room doorway, looked at me, and I knew exactly what was coming. She proceeded to give me the same spiel she had just given the last room about overseeing care and told me she would be watching how they took care of ME! I WAS LIVID!!!

First off, I'm 33 years old. The average age of a nursing home resident is about 78! I do realize that there are situations were people as young as I need 24-hour care from other but most of those people are in group home situations living with people much closer to their own age. I wanted to rip into her but instead I just chose to say "I don't live here...." and "Just because I'm sitting in a wheelchair..." and didn't get a chance to finish my statement when she piped up and said "Oh, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insinuate that you're a resident here." Like HECK she didn't!

I've encountered plenty of situations where people make assumptions about a person based on their appearance or physical being but the thing that really got me about this one was that this lady works in the healthcare industry. In this day and age, with so many differences out there, how can one merely assume that a person is unable to care for themself just because they sit 24/7? Obviously, I can't do everything that a walking person can but based on a few people I've known over the years I can tell you that I accomplish more in one day than some do in a week!

Well, the family is home now. I've gotten that off of my chest so I suppose I should gain some composure and go out there to greet them with a smile and give them a decent meal.
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post #2 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 07:22 PM
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Jo, I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's appalling.

On the other hand, given the horror stories we all hear, good to see someone was checking up on care in the nursing home.

But still....

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post #3 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 07:40 PM
 
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Wow that is rude! I hate being treated a certain way because of physical appearances. I am sorry you had to go through that.

BTW: I was born in ND, glad to finally see someone around that area on message boards!
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post #4 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 07:51 PM
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Re: Making assumptions about people... {rant}

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2kids3cats4me
I wanted to rip into her but instead I just chose to say "I don't live here...." and "Just because I'm sitting in a wheelchair..." and didn't get a chance to finish my statement when she piped up and said "Oh, no. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insinuate that you're a resident here."
This is the part of your story that bothers me the most. I mean, she should have known better than to assume that you were a resident, especially given all the things you said. But ok - people make mistakes. But she should have at least owned up to it!
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post #5 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 08:04 PM
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Whilst I'm in no way in the same boat as you, I know what you mean 2kids.

I'm 26, and 5'1. Now you know, I'm a shortarse lol.
I don't care all that much (it does have CERTAIN advantages), but when people assume I'm 10 years younger, I get rattled.

I have to carry a passport around with me (no ID cards in the UK yet ), and I just wave it at people who question my age. It's one of my little sad pleasures in life to see the faces of the morons who assume that because I'm short, I'm also young.
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post #6 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 08:07 PM
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Earlier this year, someone called me "ugly" to my face at Target. An adult, no less. And I wasn't even shopping in the Troll Section.

Still, nothing like your experience, Jo, but I know we can all relate on some level.

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post #7 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 08:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marie73
And I wasn't even shopping in the Troll Section.
Target has a nice Troll Section, and their 75% off rack makes me happy!

Weeeee!

P.S. I hate people. Cats are nice. And some trolls. But people are icky.
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post #8 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 08:32 PM
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Please do everyone a favor by calling the Nursing Home to find out what agency she was from, then write them a letter. If she is an inspector and she is that narrow minded her bosses need to know that since she is going into many facilities.

For all she knew it might have been your husband who was a resident.

I am sorry this happened to you. She should have known better, the twit.


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post #9 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 09:28 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hollypetsit
BTW: I was born in ND, glad to finally see someone around that area on message boards!
Hey! I've been patiently awaiting someone else who knows the area to join. I sometimes feel like a foreigner, although there are some here who are at least midwesterners.

If I may ask, what is your hometown?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Huge
I'm 26, and 5'1. Now you know, I'm a shortarse lol.
I don't care all that much (it does have CERTAIN advantages), but when people assume I'm 10 years younger, I get rattled.
I don't do the "bar" scene but will have a drink at a restaurant now and again. It used to bug the tar out of me to get carded well into my late 20s and beyond until my mom said "Hey, at my age you'll enjoy getting carded. Consider it a complement."

Quote:
Originally Posted by marie73
Earlier this year, someone called me "ugly" to my face at Target. An adult, no less. And I wasn't even shopping in the Troll Section.
OMG! I definitely would have reported that person. As far as my own situation and reporting it to the proper people it's not worth my time. I have bigger fish to fry.

I just felt like ranting about it here because I know you guys are good listeners.
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post #10 of 27 (permalink) Old 04-22-2008, 09:42 PM
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Thanks, Jo, but it was another shopper. She was probably a tweaker who was just informed you can't actually buy meth at Target so she was bitter.

You have the right attitude, and we're here for you.

Cali, Cinderella, Cleo and Charlee

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