Heated topic. Marriage advice!!! - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 12:21 PM Thread Starter
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Heated topic. Marriage advice!!!

Ok this is a couple I know. Not me and my OH (we are very happy!)

The Husband and Wife (we will call them Jake and Jill lol) have been married 15yrs. Will about 8 mnts ago Jake cheated on Jill with a lady he works with. Jill found out and was very upset and threatened to leave but decided to stay to see if they could work it out. Well Jake cant stop being around this lady bc they work in the same business so they bump into each other 1-2 a week and do some of the same commities together. Jill is very upset that Jake still talks to this lady. Things were good up until Jill decided to get back at Jack by cheating on him and flirting with guys alot and she yells at Jake all the time for any lilttle thing he does wrong and tells him she doesnt trust him at all. Well Jake and Jill drag thier daughter (Emma) into this bc the lady is her boss. So Jill gets mad at Emma if she talks to her boss outside of work. Well Yesterday the whole family was at a foundraiser all day and the lady showed up, Well Emma left since Jill was getting really mad and saying lots of bad stuff and fighting with Jake. Emma hates being in the middle and wishes her parents would either work it out or split up bc its a lot of drama to deal with.

If you were Jake and Jill would you still live like this or would you leave. What should Emma do to try and stay out of this ?
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 12:31 PM
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Personally, if it were me, I think the hurt would be to deep, and I don't know if I could ever trust Jake again. I would always be wondering, and questioning if he's being faithful.

I feel sorry for the daughter. If they do seperate, mom may hold anger towards the daughter, for being faithful towards the dad who works at the same place, and for being loyal to the boss she works for. I think all around, this is not a healthy situation, that is going to take a long time to heal. Very sad.
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 12:34 PM
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Marriage counseling will help them decide if they want to stay together or split up. And they both need to grow up about Emma.
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 01:29 PM
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He cheated on her then she cheated on him. I don't think either of them are trustworthy!

Counseling, and keep the daughter out of whatever is decided.

Shame on the boss-woman for getting herself involved in this family's situation. Shame on the husband for getting involved with and associate and his daughter's boss. Shame on the wife for vindictive cheating ~ she USED whomever she cheated with for nothing but revenge. All three of them are shameful.
I hope the daughter is able to keep herself out of their triple line of fire.



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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 02:02 PM
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Sounds like the Jake and Jill need to grow up. They have no business exposing their child to these antics, regardless of Emma's age. Sounds like it would be hard for Emma to stay out of it. She should sit down with her parents and let them know she's neutral territory and that they need to stop screwing with her job! Separation of work & personal life!


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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 04:31 PM
 
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Marriage counseling would not help me in a situation like that. I wouldn't trust Jake no matter what a counselor said. I would have broke it off. None of the childish cheating on each other either. It sucks for the daughter to be involved in everything, but the parents need to leave her out of it. She is old enough to make her own decisions as to whether or not she wants to work for a boss that cheated with her father.
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-27-2008, 09:41 PM
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Sadly, I believe that marriage is over. I couldn't live with a man I couldn't trust. And she's just as bad. Fidelity, love, and mutual support are what marriage is all about. Too bad the daughter will have to see her father and her boss together. That will make things harder yet. How very sad.




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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-28-2008, 05:02 AM
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I would do my damndest to make sure they sorted things out properly for Emma's sake. If it ends up that they split however, then so be it.
They are both as bad as each other, both acting like THEY are the kids. So WHAT if "Emma" talks to this boss woman. It's non of "jill's" business.
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-28-2008, 09:24 AM Thread Starter
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Emma and me have talked and she wishes they would just decide whether or not to stay together. Its hard to see them act this way and she feels its her fault since all this started when she moved out of her parents house. She feels like she is being selfish by hoping they dont split but she hates being in the middle of this childish fight. And all this just keeps getting worse every week and its hard on her and she keeps coming to me for advice but I dont know what to tell her so all I can do is be here if she needs me. I had the idea of them having a family meeting but her parents dont see that Emmas in the middle of this and still treat her as a child so they wouldnt listen in the first place. I wish I could help her and give her some advice but I am at a loss.

p.s Even if Jake and Jill split up Jake wont get together with Emmas boss bc she is married with a 5yrold girl
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 04-28-2008, 12:41 PM
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Being Catholic, who isn't supposed to belive in divorce, I'm going to go against that and say this couple should split. They obviously don't care for one another anymore because they are both off cheating.
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