I have a bit of a situation ....
My 20 yr old son Garth and his Girlfriend Sandy managed to become pregnant ( I have mentioned this before) they had twins and the one twin passed away at 2 days old ....
Of course I had to go to the funeral and Sandy and Sandy's family .
Im still hurt because of the way my MIL treats me , I lost my mom 15 years ago and despite being 35 at the time I still needed a mom .. I think we all do , and she made it very clear that I wasnt good enough for her son and the fact that I was divorced and had 3 children just wasnt good enough for her .. it hurt then and it still does .. because of this I vowed many years ago that I would treat my childrens significant others when the time came with love and respect ....even if i didnt like them personally they were my childrens choice .
Anyhow ....I had in the meantime made friends with Sandy online and we have a lot in common .... when I went to meet her family however I was quite horrified at the way they live ... very poor ... and one can see it .... her sister and other family are only just above the level of white trash .. her mother howver is a lovely woman .. I think its a case of "poverty syndrome" when people are very poor but dont know how to rise above their circumstances ???
Judging either Sandy or her family isnt my responsibility however .. my son loves her .
My son isnt happy living there and he is only 20 with a history of drug problems and he is bipolar .. so I set about getting him properly diagnosed and treated and he is now much better , off the drugs and determined to do right by his tiny family .
Garth BTW is a good kid , very good heart and brutally honest .....
Sandy is a lovely girl and her and I have become very close and she is a girl that was molested and is also trying her dammdest to rise above her circumstances and do the best by her tiny family.
BUT they cant do it in the enviroment they are living in ... and Garth wants to come home .. neither of them earn enough to raise a baby properly and by coming home .... we can help then until they are on their feet ... Garth needs to go back to school .. and Sandy needs the confidence in herself to find a better job.
Garth also needs the support of my hubby ( his stepfather) they are very close and IMO Garth is little more than a child himself.
So I have an idea my family is going to extend soon
Sandy in the beginning wasnt interested in leaving her mother .. it has taken me two weeks for her to realise that no one is taken her away from her mom ... her other mom wants to help them , and I dont think she has ever thought about Garth possible earning potential if he simply goes back to school ......
I just dont want it to seem as though im interfering .. they are both so young and honestly need all the help they can get .. Sandy is fiercly independant and stubborn ( we share a bithday) but as straightforward as I am .
We cant really afford to take on these two and baby .. but I dont see we have much choice , not if we want to see them improve their lives and the life of their baby .. because the enviroment they are in now isnt at all ideal.
So..... has anyone been in this situation ??? and how does one handle it.