Why didn't anyone stop me? - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-10-2008, 02:00 PM Thread Starter
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Why didn't anyone stop me?

I should know better, but I haven't learned yet. I KNOW better than to go to the store so I can pick up a little trinket or two for a "thank you" gift bag for someone. I know what happens when I do that.

I went to get a bottle of nice lotion & a candle & a card for a girl who's always nice at work. She's quiet, so she's always overlooked--everyone else gets gifts all the time, invited out all the time, joked with all the time, etc. She gets ignored. But she's always soft spoken & sweet & a listener & inquisitive about how people are feeling. She's a single mom of a little girl; she's twentythree, I think. Her boyfriend was abusive & stalks her. Her little girl always seems to be sick...allergies, colds, infections, viruses, you name it. She works graveyard shift. So I figure my coworker doesn't have much time to be a woman for herself, and definitely doesn't have the money to do so.

Instead of a candle & a lotion, I found:

Twelve candles

Three bottles of scented lotions

One expensive skin care bottle of scented bubble bath

Two loofahs

One expensive REALLY good scented body wash

Three bottles of nice scented oils for burning

One oil burner (that's what the candles are for)

Aloe filled socks

A bag of Dove milk chocolates

A plain blue Kraft bag

Seven sheets of beautiful stickers to decorate said bag

A roll of ribbon for decorating

Multi-color tissue paper


Seriously. Will I ever learn? My five-dollar thank you became sixty bucks. And I can't wait to see what she does.


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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-10-2008, 02:08 PM
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We didn't stop you because it was a lovely thing to do!




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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-10-2008, 03:41 PM
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What you've done is kind and lovely, but it is it a bit over the top for a friendly, token gift? You don't want to give something that makes the donee feel awkward or uncomfortable.

We don't see your relationship with this individual , so we can't tell you what is and isn't an appropriate gift. Why don't you give that some thought? Maybe you can keep two of the bottles of lotion, and give her just one. Same thing for the scented oil.

Just a suggestion...

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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-10-2008, 04:01 PM
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TQ, I didn't know how to say this because I didn't want you to feel bad but I must admit that I totally agree with Lori (PrimoBabe) that that's a bit much for a gift for a coworker who isn't otherwise a close friend. I know it would make me feel extremely awkward to get that much from someone I just work with.

I agree with Lori that the gift would still be great if it were just toned down a bit.

The gesture was very nice of you, though. If more people were thoughtful like that, maybe there wouldn't be so much hurt in the world.
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-10-2008, 04:05 PM
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I didn't try to stop you 'cause I think it's mean to try and stop an act of kindness.

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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-10-2008, 04:14 PM
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Lovely lovely thing to do, but 60 bucks? That's a bit much IMO. For someone you don't know that well anyway.
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-10-2008, 07:16 PM Thread Starter
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It's not as much as it sounds. The lotions are purse size. The candles are small for oil burning. Body wash & bubbles & chocolates are luxury items every girl I've known loves to give eachother. I'm guessing that if she only gets one oil scent, she'll never be willing to splurge to get a second one. We're always trading smelly goodies, anyway. The bosses put together little gift baggies for everyone at work, and throw parties all the time. Just as far as I know, this girl has never been a recipient.


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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-10-2008, 08:37 PM
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TQ, I think you are very special to do something so kind. I think you will make a bigger impact on this woman than you will ever know.


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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-10-2008, 09:01 PM
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Re: Why didn't anyone stop me?

Well if it makes you feel better I am addicted to TARGET, I always spend more (way more) than I should.
I think is called compulsive shopping

So can I get a candle??

Maria
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 05-11-2008, 11:09 AM
 
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I think I'd agree with the others. It's a very nice gesture, but receiving that much may strain your relationship, esp if she is as quiet as you say. I would feel awkward receiving that much from a relative, let alone a boss, let alone a co-worker. Have you considered just asking her to go out to lunch with you instead? I don't want to say not to give all of the gifts to her, but not all at once, and certainly not out of the blue. If it were her birthday or Christmas, sure. But just to find that sitting at my desk one day ... wow.
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