I didn't want to hijack the thread started by Megan because, although I have a gripe about my mom, it's not the same thing.
Yesterday I was talking with mom on the phone about how Peanut (the new pup) is doing so much better with this, that and the other thing, and how she had her initial vet visit for the parvo booster on Monday.
The conversation spun off into going to the country concerts at the Fair, of which mom is going to go to one with me while Ken goes to the other 3 with me, and then steered off into how next Tuesday our daycare lady is taking the day off to spend the day at the ND State Fair with her own family and, therefore, she would not be working.
That's the day of the demolitian derby anyway and Ken and I had already discussed taking the kids earlier that day to see the animal barns and ride some kiddie rides, then coming home to let them get a nap and taking them back in the evening so that Ken could take Nate to the demo derby and meanwhile I'll just go around the fair with Emma doing other things.
My mom got dead silent when I told her this and I knew EXACTLY what she was thinking. I'm in a chair so I need someone there with me to help watch over Emma. She asked "Do you want me there with you?" after which I said a sharp "no" because I want to spend time alone with my daughter. We do so many things as a family and each of the kids deserves some alone time with one of the parents now and then. Tuesday night seemed like the perfect opportunity.
I told her how I'm sick and tired of her acting like I'm not capable to which she stated "it's not you, it's all the strangers at the Fair I'm worried about." Well, maybe, but that still doesn't mean I can't handle my own daughter. She said "what if Emma gets sidetracked and stops to look at something and you don't see her do that and just continue on. First off, since I'm in a chair and would obviously be in a crowd of people I would never let myself do that. Secondly, perfectly able-bodied people have lost their children before (Heaven forbid!). Yes, Emma is a go-getter but she does have sense enough to understand that when we're in a big place with a lot of people she needs to stay close to me. We've been to the mall alone a few times and she does fine. She listens well and stays right by me.
I told Mom she was making me mad and I needed to get off the phone before I said anything else I'd later regret, and I hung up. After that, I looked at Ken and said "Don't even say anything. I had every right to be angry," and he agreed. In the past, he's gotten mad at me for being hard on my mom but half the time it's the same conversation. She's freaked about how I'm gonna handle things because I'm in a wheelchair!
Is she ever going to let up? For Heaven's sake, I'm almost 34 years old. You would think by now that she could look at all that I've accomplished in life and realize I'm doing just fine. I may not have use of my legs but God put a decent head on my shoulders and I'm very capable that way. I know mothers are said to always be protective but why can't they (or maybe it's just my mom) look the situation over and realize they have to let their child figure things out for themselves once in a while? I refuse to be coddled for the rest of my life, the biggest reason being that if my own kids pick up on her doing that then they might second-guess my abilities as they get older, or second-guess their own. I will not let that happen to my kids because that's exactly what Ken's mom did to him. You have no idea how much work I put into that man to get him to realize he's independent and perfectly capable of handling himself.
OK, now that that's off my chest, I really need to buckle down and get back to work.