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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-03-2009, 03:19 PM Thread Starter
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Need advice on handling lying toddler...

Just within the last few weeks we've caught Emma lying about the most inane things, like "Did you finish your bedtime snack?," after which she'll say "yeah" and we come to find it stashed under the couch cushions or something. The deal was that she was told after she had a healthy bedtime snack she could have one piece of candy. Well, she hid the healthy snack in hopes of getting away with just the candy.

Both of the kids have tried to pin blame on the other one when something is broken or whatever and I expect that as they're little, the same age, and siblings. However, this outright lying when we ask Emma a question that has an easy answer is getting ridiculous. We talked about it a little last night after the kids went to sleep and I said to Ken that maybe we should try and get it through her head how wrong lying is by telling her the story of the little boy who cried wolf. Ken doesn't think that's quite the same thing and, really, it isn't. Yes, the boy was lying but he was trying to get attention and going about it the wrong way.

Maybe I'm going overboard and this is just a phase she's going through. The kids will be 4 on Sunday.

Mothers or fathers out there, what do you think?
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-03-2009, 03:28 PM
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Re: Need advice on handling lying toddler...

Well I may not be a parent, but I agree with Ken that the boy who cried wolf isn't the same. I just did a quick search and it looks like there are several books out there on the subject. There's a "Help Me Be Good" series that might be helpful for a lot of behaviors. Looks like a good excuse for a trip to Barnes & Noble, I know how much you'd hate that!


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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-03-2009, 03:59 PM
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Re: Need advice on handling lying toddler...

The child should know that although certain deeds (whatever they did to disobey) is wrong, but if they add lying to the deed, the punishment will reflect that. So, if a child would get time out for a specific time, that time would be extended. That's one way I handled it. When they get a bit older, they get into the "rules" stage. During that time, they are very strict about rules--household rules, game rules, whose turn it is, who got the bigger cookie, etc.

I'm sure you're teaching them the morals that are important to you. You're a good mom. No child is perfect. My son had a tee shirt that said, "Be patient; God's not done with me yet. " We're always learning and hopefully, growing.

Every situation is different, Jo. So follow your heart as well as the rules.

I would save "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" to a time when it directly fits the situation. It's a good story.




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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-03-2009, 04:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Need advice on handling lying toddler...

Quote:
Originally Posted by doodlebug
Looks like a good excuse for a trip to Barnes & Noble, I know how much you'd hate that!


ETA: Actually, Lisa, I wanted to thank you for giving me the idea to check out B&N. I actually began searching online for books that deal with these sorts of topics and found 2 entire series by an author named Joy Berry. One is called the "Let's Talk About" series and the other is "Help Me Be Good." They cover things such as lying, cheating, whining, being bossy, disobeying, and many other things. Thanks!
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 02-06-2009, 10:51 PM
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Re: Need advice on handling lying toddler...

No been there, done that experience, but I think Jeanie's idea is a good one.

Like telling her that if she had not lied about the snack, she could have gone to bed at a normal time, but since she lied about about it, now she has to go to bed 10 minutes earlier. Or whatever form of discipline, going to bed early is an example.

Good luck, I guess I'll be in your shoes in a few years.

Shannon
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