...about my Mother.
How is it that a good conversation can turn south so quickly over the subject of kitties?!
I was telling her about rearranging the office and she asked about having a daybed, and I replied we had no room though we could toss a matress on the floor for the occasional visitor. She questioned some more with ideas and I told her the litterchest had to stay where it was because it is vented outside. She asked if I still needed one that size and I said: "With eight cats, yes." She seemed surprised it was eight. I mean, come on! Last year I had a DOZEN! Eight is a pittance after having that many. So, she asked me to name them. *now, I KNOW she asked this so she could see if I had ADDED any new cats
* ...and she seemed disappointed that the eight I named are all names she has known about for quite some time.
Somehow, I mentioned the two tomcats that have been hanging around. (The black one's front leg looks like hamburger from the bites/swelling. I had been giving him antibiotics and he is healing, it just doesn't look pretty at all.) Mom told me to NOT encourage them to stay. Well, I've been feeding them. She almost had hysterics; told me if that cat was injured I should just have him put to sleep. She sounded angry when she told me this. It got my hackles up, because it reminded me of her saying the same thing about our Reilly. I told her I could not do that to a cat who was not suffering. I didn't get a chance to tell her I wanted to trap the two toms and get them neutered.
She brought up my health problems and how she feels they were brought on by my pets; injuries being treated or viruses/bacteria they carried
, blah-blah-blah. I asked her to stop bringing up the cats/horses, they were not the cause or exacerbating my medical problems. She argued 'how could I know?' and I asked if she had done any research on this disease at all, and she quietly said no. I then advised that between the two or us, I felt like more of an expert in the field than she was and she needed to drop that line of attack.
So, she switched gears and implied that my husband complains to her about the cats and if I don't do something about lessening the numbers he will leave me. I told her I would ask him about that this evening when he returned from helping our friend and I also pointed out that it has been HE who has brought home HALF of these cats of ours. She back-pedaled away from that, too.
She then brought up how stressful it must be for me to care for them...I countered that I enjoy caring for them, I know I don't want to add to them, but I am who I am and I can't change ME to suit her ideals.
She got a little huffy at that and said maybe she should just not mention the kitties at all and I told her I would appreciate that. I further explained that I did not like listening to her tell me how to care for my cats, I am capable and clear-headed. She did not like the direction this was going in, so I apologized that our happy phone call had turned bad and I would call this evening.
Why can't she understand who I am and accept me and my love for my pets?
Further compounding my misery...I just went to the kitchen to put a bowl in the dishwasher and saw a young-ish (7-10mo) tortoiseshell on the back patio with the black tomcat.
Why do I always have to take care of everyone else being irresponsible with their pets?