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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-06-2009, 10:04 PM Thread Starter
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A year ago

I dont know if anyone remembers the drama's I had with my son and Sandy? they had twins, the one passed away and they eventually landed up living with me ?

Anthow Garth (my son) decided that going back to drugs was more fun than his little daughter and Sandy threw him out..... Sandy and I kept up an excellant relationship and we became as close as mother and daughter .. she found a fantastic job , and one day phoned me asking me if I would mind if she started seeing someone else and how did I feel about it etc.

Her and her new boyfriend and Hayley came to visit this weekend .. and oh my word has Hayley become the most beautiful baby .. she was a year old yesterday and a very busy happy little girl.

Sandy's new boyfriend is a nice youngster , solid job, no drugs and is devoted to Sandy and Hayley .. IMO throwing my son out was the best thing she could have done for herself and Hayley....

I wonder if my flesh and blood will ever realise what he has lost I dont speak to him much .... he only contacts me if he needs money which I wont give him, he has phoned Sandy once to find out how they are ....

Just like his father .... his father has lost the love and respect of all of his kids , he has 4 grandchildren that he cant be bothered with .. and I have gained so much .. his daughter and her two children from his first marriage .... Sandy and Hailey and my oldest's sons little baby Skylar and im trying to make friends with her mother ....

Life is so short .... and the extended families of the "baby" mistakes are so important to the children .. Hayley now has 3 grannies and 3 grandpa's and a huge family because we have all made the effort to make sure that despite their being no formal marriage between the adults ... to stay friends.

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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-06-2009, 10:19 PM
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Re: A year ago

Carol, I remember that quite well. I'm so glad everything has worked out! Your son has given up more than he could realize, and someday I think he'll regret it, but it will be too late. I'm so glad your DIL has found someone special.




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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-06-2009, 10:26 PM
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Re: A year ago

Hayley is a very blessed girl to have so many positive adults in her life. Your son has lost so much, but I am so glad that you are making up for him in this precious little one's life.


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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-07-2009, 11:50 AM
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Re: A year ago

You have been thru a lot Carol. But have done all the right things. You are reaping the benefits of your love, understanding, and compassion. My one set of grandparents greatly influenced my life for the good. They were an anchor for me. I know you will for Haley and the rest of your extented family.
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-07-2009, 01:47 PM Thread Starter
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Re: A year ago

Thanks guys..im sad tonight they are leaving very early in the morning and hayley and I were just making pals.

Hubs and Sandys boyfriend have also made friends .

Im going to miss the little mini one .. she is so much fun.. giggles and laughing and babytalk.

2 boxers Miki & Monty
Boy Cats: Tucker,Freeway,Tyson,Copicat,Mike
Girl Cats : Magic, Garfield, Buggie,Lexie,Spike,Ginger,Blue,Spooky,Rotten, Trouble
Strays: Charlie
2 Conures,2 African Greys,1 Black winged Jardine
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-07-2009, 02:16 PM
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Re: A year ago

You will miss her, I know. Babies are such a joy! I hope you get to visit often.




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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-09-2009, 04:26 AM
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Re: A year ago

Carolsclan, I know what you are going through. My son too is into drugs..he is also schizophrenic...his health insurance has refused to pay for anymore hospitilisations because he isn't compliant. As soon as he is out he stops taking his meds and goes on a drugs binge.

You are in my prayers.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-09-2009, 12:12 PM
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Re: A year ago

God bless you, Xanti. It must break your heart.




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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-09-2009, 01:44 PM Thread Starter
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Re: A year ago

Xanti , Garth my son has the same problem only he has bipolar disorder like I do .... he is off meds again apparently.

I sometimes dont know what to do anymore.... at the moment my priority has to be myself and hubs .. Garth is right at the bottom of my list of priorities unfortunately.

2 boxers Miki & Monty
Boy Cats: Tucker,Freeway,Tyson,Copicat,Mike
Girl Cats : Magic, Garfield, Buggie,Lexie,Spike,Ginger,Blue,Spooky,Rotten, Trouble
Strays: Charlie
2 Conures,2 African Greys,1 Black winged Jardine
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 03-09-2009, 02:11 PM
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Re: A year ago

Thank you Jeanie...I am sure Carol will agree with that me that to some extent you 'learn to live with it'. I think it's your mind telling you that enough is enough. I have cut him out of my life for the moment as I can't help him, though God knows I have tried.

Carol, agreed...it's a choice of them going down...or all of us going down sadly On one hand I feel for him because of this awful illness that he has to cope with, and I know the reason they take drugs is because they are self medicating...but it is the wrong choice and until they see that, there is nothing anyone can do.

I am sure you feel like I do...I am just dreading the day when I get 'The Phone Call'. I do believe, though, that everything happens for a reason and that my son, and no doubt myself, have lessons to learn through this experience.

God bless.
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