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post #1 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-25-2009, 06:58 PM Thread Starter
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Mother in law rant

It has been four years since my mother in law moved in with us and when she did I swore that I would never make her feel unwelcome in my home. Hopefully, I never have but there are many days when she DRIVES ME NUTS! So I am venting here so I can save the peace at home.
My mother in law has something I call crazy old lady syndrome, which means she does things that make no sense. When my stepson, who also lives with us, brings down his clothes to be washed on the weekend she HAS to do them immediately. I work full time during the week and the weekends are the only time I have to wash all of our clothes, bedding, rugs, afghans etc. She has decided she is responsible for stepsons clothes - even though he is 28 years old and before she moved in I took care of that. So no matter what I am washing on the weekend, all must stop so his clothes can get washed. Even if I am hurrying to wash my sons clothes so he can go back to college. (Stepson doesn't care when they get done.)
Hubby and I went out to breakfast last Sat. after I got my hair cut. He drove me there so that we could have a little time by ourselves. We were not spoken to for the rest of the day.
She is old school Slovenian in the way she cooks. Gravies, home made noodles, strudel. It all tastes great, but my husband is diabetic. Before she moved in he was about 30 - 40 pounds lighter and much healthier, but she just doesn't get it. If I cook healthy, she won't eat. Also she does the martyr thing. "Thats OK. I'm not hungry."
She is not a person you can talk to and reason with because she is always right and we are all in "trouble" if we say something to her about anything she does or says. When hubby was off of work after his operation he just about went nuts. She was always on him about something and he KNEW he dared not say anything because she wouldn't forget for DAYS!
She has heart problems and I am not going to make her last months miserable - She's 84. At least she loves the cats. Sometimes too much because she gives them Temptations treats. Tons of treats. I feed canned Wellness and Natures Balance and would rather see them eat more of that. Orlando just lately will not eat his food with the medicine in it because he is holding out for the *** treats! I think I will have to say something about that, though, even if I will be top on the list.
Tonight I came home and started cooking dinner. Hubby was not feeling well and went to lay down. (He did come down to eat.) She decided to have just soup. When stepson got home she said, "I'm just having soup, you will have to eat whatever, I think you have frozen dinners in the freezer." Ah, hello, I am cooking pork steaks on the grille, brussle sprouts, and spanish rice. That is what set off this rant. There are some days I just want so scream!!!
End of rant. Thanks for letting me vent.

Sue



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post #2 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-25-2009, 09:36 PM
 
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Re: Mother in law rant

omg i think we share a mother in law lol. mine is just like this though thankfully doesn't live with us!! i have told my husband i don't think i will be able to ever handle that and she can go live with one of his brothers or i will move into my own little apartment and we can visit each other their wive's have the same opinion! sorry you are dealing with this. i have a stepson who's 8 and she thinks he's her kid and nothing i do is good enough for him...he always gets special food and treatment too! now i know what life will be like when she's 80 and he's in his 20's! my sisters in law and i can rant on for hours about her and still not feel better. i hope you do though
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post #3 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-25-2009, 10:04 PM
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Re: Mother in law rant

Right there with ya on the mother-in-law thing. Mine is gone now, God rest her soul, but when she was here on Earth I had all I could do to stay civilized around her. Thank GOD she never lived with us!
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post #4 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-25-2009, 10:15 PM
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Re: Mother in law rant

Oh honey! I am so sorry.
I had to live with my father in law and his wife (mark's dad and mom have been divorced for 15 years..) and Let me tell you it was h***
Nothing would make her happy, she just wanted me out of her house, we stayed there for a month.
We have been out of their house for 4 years now.. and she is the nicest person ever, could not believe what a big witch she was!
Is she staying there for good?

Maria
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post #5 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-26-2009, 08:08 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Mother in law rant

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Originally Posted by hypertweeky
Is she staying there for good?
Yes, she is with us for the duration. She has heart problems and macular degeneration, so she doesn't see well. She can't walk well because she has a problem with her leg. She went to the doctor about it and he told her it could be fixed with surgery, but she refused the surgery.
I continually remind myself to be patent and keep my mouth shut. It must be so frustrating for her to feel like she doesn't matter any more because she is old, and to know that her body is failing. She tries to do more then she is physically capable of and that is really scary. We have told her over and over NOT to bring up the trash can after the trash has been collected. When the drive was icy this past winter she went down to do it anyway and slipped. She fell behind the can and tried to hide behind it because she was embarrased that she fell and didn't want the neighbors to see her. After a while she managed to get up and get back into the house but when I think what could have happened it makes me sick.
I just hope when I am old I remember these things and do my best not to give my kids fits and nightmares!

Sue



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post #6 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-26-2009, 09:17 AM
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Re: Mother in law rant

Kat, I'm so sorry you are going through this .... I'm very lucky in that my MIL is a total sweetheart, now mind you she doesn't live with us. I hope things get better for you.

I would definately talk to your DH and maybe between the two of you, you guys can confront her calmly and explain some of the things that she does do not fit your home life. Let her know you appreciate everything she does but that this is your home and there needs to be structure, especially when it comes to the kitties.
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post #7 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-26-2009, 11:18 AM Thread Starter
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Re: Mother in law rant

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Originally Posted by Smirkitty
She's 84? What a wealth of history she has lived through....

She was born in 1925.

That was the year that John Scopes was arrested for teaching the theory of evolution in a public school. Adolph Hilter published Mein Kampf.
Mussolini declared himself dictator (il duce) of Italy.
The Great Gatesby was published.
For the first time, the presidential inauguration was broadcast on the radio (Coolidge).
As for her personal history: She was born in the U.S. but her mother took her back to Europe when she was very young because her two older siblings died due to a flu epedemic going around at the time. She worked very hard on a farm in Europe while growing up, and then was forced to work in the kitchens of a concentration camp because she refused to give up her U.S. citizenship. She came back to the U.S. at age 19 to make her way alone over here. In many ways she is an amazing person.

Sue



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post #8 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-26-2009, 11:43 AM
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Re: Mother in law rant

Your MIL obviously is a strong, opinionated woman. She could not have gotten through her life if she wasn't. Of course that makes it extra hard for her to live in another woman's house, and to have her body fail her. And, it makes it REALLY hard for you to have to deal with her. You are an amazing woman yourself!

You could try to sit down with your DH and try to come up with some things that she could be in charge of that would give her a sense of purpose and still allow you to keep your sanity and her safe.

Know we are here to listen and if nothing else- to send you (((HUGS))).


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post #9 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-26-2009, 12:20 PM
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Re: Mother in law rant

You many have to deal with your MIL like you would cat....we often tell people that are complaining about the things their cats does that you can't change the inherent nature of a cat, so you need to change the way you deal with the cat. The same may be true about your MIL...


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post #10 of 35 (permalink) Old 03-26-2009, 01:54 PM
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Re: Mother in law rant

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Originally Posted by doodlebug
You many have to deal with your MIL like you would cat....we often tell people that are complaining about the things their cats does that you can't change the inherent nature of a cat, so you need to change the way you deal with the cat. The same may be true about your MIL...
Squirt her with a water bottle?



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