Am I too intolerant? - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-01-2011, 11:04 AM Thread Starter
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Am I too intolerant?

Gail's mother told me yesterday that Gail's OH eats meat behind Gail's back (Gail is a vegan and OH, supposedly, too). Gail's mother, who cooks for the OH often and cooks meat for him, told me this must remain a secret. The OH works very near her house, so he has lunch at her house on weekdays.

I'm torn between two outlooks:

1. In my humble (and maybe wrong) opinion, this is a dysfunctional family.
2. Maybe all families have their things and I expect perfection.

What's your opinion?

The Royal von Meouw Dynasty: His Royal Highness the late Prince von Meouw,
Her Royal Highness Princess Gatita von Meouw, Nikita Duchess of Meouw and
His Highness Cuchi-Cuchi, next in line for the throne of Prince von Meouw.
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post #2 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-01-2011, 11:11 AM
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Personally, I think Gail is wrong to assume her husband should adopt her way of life just because she has. If he wants to eat meat and her mother is happy making it for him then that's between them and it's great he gets along with his mother in law.

Why should Gail (or anyone else) care that he's not a Vegan and wants to eat meat?
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post #3 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-01-2011, 11:13 AM
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Well, not sure about dysfunctional, but definitely lacking in communication. If Gail's OH doesn't want to be vegan, then that is his choice. I think he should tell her, but that's really between the two of them.

I can see him not wanting to tell her for fear of the disappointment she may feel that he isn't following the same diet, but giving up all meat products is so difficult. He may just be exploring the other side, seeing if being vegan is what he truly wants to do.

If they can come to a compromise, maybe he does not eat meat in her presence, something like that could work, but first they have to sit and talk.
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post #4 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-01-2011, 11:24 AM Thread Starter
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What I wonder is, are they dysfunctional or am I too strict?

The Royal von Meouw Dynasty: His Royal Highness the late Prince von Meouw,
Her Royal Highness Princess Gatita von Meouw, Nikita Duchess of Meouw and
His Highness Cuchi-Cuchi, next in line for the throne of Prince von Meouw.
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post #5 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-01-2011, 11:33 AM
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I don't think they sound dysfunctional, or at least no in excess.
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post #6 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-01-2011, 11:35 AM
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He should man up and not be controlled by his wife. We all make our own choices on this. If she wants to be vegan, then that's her choice and her choice alone but if he wants steak every Friday, she should just allow it.

Covering it up and getting his mummy to cook it for him is just asking for trouble.
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post #7 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-01-2011, 11:48 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Huge View Post
Covering it up and getting his mummy to cook it for him is just asking for trouble.
That's what I keep thinking, that this is a time bomb, because there are trust issues - between life partners, between mother and daughter (should the mother be lying to her daughter to protect the daughter's marriage, when the daughter is almost 40 y/o?). To me, this is all crazy. I wonder if this is how most people live and I'm the idealistic one??

The Royal von Meouw Dynasty: His Royal Highness the late Prince von Meouw,
Her Royal Highness Princess Gatita von Meouw, Nikita Duchess of Meouw and
His Highness Cuchi-Cuchi, next in line for the throne of Prince von Meouw.
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post #8 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-01-2011, 11:48 AM
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Sorry misread it, getting anyone else to cook for him is just weedy.
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post #9 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-01-2011, 11:50 AM Thread Starter
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LOL two wrongs make a right, I misread yours too so we understood each other

The Royal von Meouw Dynasty: His Royal Highness the late Prince von Meouw,
Her Royal Highness Princess Gatita von Meouw, Nikita Duchess of Meouw and
His Highness Cuchi-Cuchi, next in line for the throne of Prince von Meouw.
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post #10 of 38 (permalink) Old 10-01-2011, 11:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Straysmommy View Post
What I wonder is, are they dysfunctional or am I too strict?
A little of both maybe? No family is perfect, we all have some level of dysfunction, some are a little more dysfunctional than others. I think my family is perfect, but they most certainly are not.

You can't change it and you can't control it. It is their family and as an outsider, really, your thoughts don't matter much. No offense meant, just an observation.

I have learned that unless it directly involves me to stay the heck out of it. You are certainly entitled to your opinions but placing judgement on them isn't always the most prudent move.
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