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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-07-2011, 03:59 PM Thread Starter
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Are they happier?

Are people who devote their lives to gaining the favor of influential people (and succeed at it), happier than those who don't?

The following anecdote is just an example to illustrate what I mean, not the topic of the thread: I had a friend in college who was an extreme people-pleaser. She only pleased those she thought were important for her socioeconomic advancement at any given stage in her life, though. Twenty-five years later, I hear that she's the HR VP of the national stock exchange in this country, having started from practically nothing and having only a bachelor of arts degree, which she barely passed.

Sorry if the question sounds strange, I'm NLD (non-verbal learning disorder) and always trying to make sense of the non-verbal world around me...

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-07-2011, 04:03 PM
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I guess it would depend on the person. If they are someone who is pleased by power and keeping company with the powerful then yes, it probably makes them happier.

If someone doesn't care about power and the things it can offer then it wouldn't make a difference to them.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-07-2011, 09:23 PM
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I doubt they're happy at all. Always someone new they'd feel they need to please and I'm sure that type of person never feels like they've done enough.

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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-07-2011, 10:25 PM
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I suppose if you were working towards a goal (financial wealth, recognition, whatever it is) and that was part of the "game" that made your goal possible, it could conceivably make you happy? Wouldn't do it for me, but those aren't really my "type" of goals.

My hubby actually routinely gets irritated that part of his job (if he wants to get published/invited to conferences/etc.) is kow-towing to the people who help make that happen--going out for drinks, jumping on bandwagons re: who to support "this month" etc. He doesn't do as much of it as other people in his industry tend to and crappily, I'm pretty sure his career has suffered for it--but he'd rather get there on the merit of his work than because of a connection. So there are probably people who do it and hate it as well?


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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-08-2011, 05:50 AM
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I don't really care tbh.

I don't have friends like that, and for good reason. I cannot stand that level of arselickery. If behaving like that makes her happy then fair enough, if it doesn't? Don't be like that!
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 11-08-2011, 07:46 AM
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I bet they're less happy because they're always in a competitive mode for attention and favor, rather than just being content with who they are. The constant implication is that they're not good enough, so they have to associate with "better" people in order to be considered good enough. It's actually sad.


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