Last thoughts for my dad & thank you to all - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 12:09 PM Thread Starter
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Last thoughts for my dad & thank you to all

It has been a little over two weeks since my dad passed away. We're doing better. It was like going through a war - so intense, so shocking! My brother wrote a fabulous obituary which appeared in the LA Times and our local paper, and we have heard from so many of my dad's friends and admirers. It has helped us move past the terribly difficult experience we had at the end, and begin to focus on my dad's long and fascinating life, and his impact on so many people. He was truly an old-style gentleman and scholar. There won't be many more like him.

I want to say thank you to everyone here for all your kind words on that last thread. I am proud of this community here at the Cat Forum! The bonds we make here are friendships and connections too - even though they are not face-to-face. I really appreciated every note I read.

As a final note, I do plan to write to my father's clinic - for the purposes of educating and warning physicians on the dangers of the antibiotic family which took his life. I hope they listen. We are not going to sue, since none of us want to be grilled by hostile insurance company attorneys. Hubby and I have experience with that through worker's comp, and we can't see putting my mom through it.

My last thought on this - if any of you are serving as helpers for elderly loved ones: check into having your parent or relative be under the care of a geriatric doctor, instead of or in addition to the regular doctors. Many of them understand and specialize in drug interactions. Honestly, we take our kids to pediatricians for that reason, I do not understand why it is not a given that patients of a certain age are not encouraged or even required to have more specialized physicians helping with their care. I am certain it would have helped my father.

Fran
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 12:28 PM
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RIP. He sounds like a very special, interesting, and respectable man.

Maybe when you feel up to it, you can write an autobiography to celebrate, remember and share your father's life with either the public or even a little book strictly for the family.

Take care, Fran.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-07-2012, 09:04 PM
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Fran, if you do feel up to it I would love to hear more about your dad. Sometimes sharing things about your loved one can be healing.

After my dad passed away we went through his things and found boxes full of the letters he had written home after he went into the service. They started at the end of 1942 when he first enlisted and went all the way through his time in the south pacific and the wars end until he came back home. I began typing out those letters on to the computer and distributing that "letter diary" to the family. Doing that allowed me to get to know my dad in a whole new way. My aunts, his sisters, also enjoyed reliving their memories.

It sounds like it may be a good decision for you and your family not to go after the clinic. That kind of thing often makes it harder to heal by keeping the pain fresh.

Sue



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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 01:42 AM
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I'm glad you're doing a little better, Fran. Your Dad was obviously loved and admired by a lot of people.

Cali, Cinderella, Cleo and Charlee

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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-09-2012, 09:30 AM
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Sometimes life can be way to hard, and I'm so sorry you and your family have had to go through this. Your father sounds like he was an amazing man. Take care, and (((HUGS))) for you.
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-09-2012, 01:03 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss and the mishandling of his care. I hope you & your family can find peace.


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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-10-2012, 12:16 PM Thread Starter
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It gets a little better every day...

I did finish the letter to the clinic yesterday. I know it will be taken very seriously. I attached a study I found from the State of Pennsylvania Patient Safety Authority from 2009 which absolutely nails the issue of inappropriate levofloxacin for the elderly. It is a systemic problem throughout the country. I am sure they won't ignore it.

On another note, Jamie wanted to have the old family Nikon F3 camera from Japan - which grandpa always said he could have - so we all ended up upstairs in my dad's library / study last night, my mom included. One of the attachments was missing, so we poked through the drawers and cubbies of his giant antique roll-top desk and oak filing cabinets trying to find it. We kept discovering familiar trinkets that made us exclaim (his India ink collection for his fountain pen! a little Japanese tin box shaped like Daruma! a pile of photos of his British right-hand drive Morgan Plus-8 sports car!) and marveled at how organized everything was, how carefully labeled every box was, how everything was steeped in my dad's personality and attention to detail. It made us so happy to be there, it was amazing. None of us could bear to leave a mess either so we carefully put everything back before we left, simultaneously laughing at ourselves as we did it...

Here is my dad's obit - the fabulous piece my brother wrote:

Maner Thorpe Obituary: View Maner Thorpe's Obituary by Los Angeles Times

Fran

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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-10-2012, 01:45 PM
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Fran your Dad sounds so amazing. I understand the joy of going through his things- after my Dad died my siblings and I did the same thing. We found little bits and pieces that our Dad had found special and it felt like he was with us one last time. I'm glad you had that time together.


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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 03-10-2012, 05:57 PM
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Fran your dad was an incredible man and it sounds like you must have had a wonderful childhood growing up with him as your father. So glad you came across so many memories when you were going through his things.

Sue



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