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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-06-2004, 02:41 PM Thread Starter
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How offending!

I’m finding it harder and harder to be a part of dog forums as of late (not ours but others). Here is what happened:

I join a forum – telling everyone how excited I am to either get a Chi or a Doxie – they seem somewhat enthused – but some members told me I should look at other dogs and animals – even bigger ones that I might not have looked at before. Just because I liked them doesn’t mean that their aren’t better ones for me.

So I did look a few of them up – going down the line – and after being dead set on getting a smaller dog… I found that the herding dogs were my favorite… specifically the Old English Sheepdog. Despite their long hair I was seriously considering a new dog for the first time – and a few encouraged my decision about looking into other breeds.

I think it was the breeders on the site who got me the most – I noticed that even when I was dead set on the doxies or chis that no matter what I said would always refer to me to rescues or pounds. They did it again while I was asking about the OES – and almost every single thing I asked – was returned with a sharp answer that I was incapable of taking care of it or something to that effect – or that I was making a stupid decision – not in those words – but it was apparent - then again referred me to a rescue.

I found this extremely disheartening – every time I posted a breeders website it was quickly shot down – with a link to a rescue that I have visited 800 times. I finally asked if they meant I shouldn’t get a purebred dog… and they said that it sounded like I wanted to get one because they looked cool… or I changed my mind too much… and if I ever asked to buy a dog from them they would never sell one to me (like I would want to). As if I didn't know dogs were a lifetime commitment... God people really burn me up!

I almost wish I had never changed my mind even if the dog would have been better for me… it just made me sound more fickle than I wanted. I want to get a puppy – but no one seems to understand why. I don’t want to get one for the cuteness… that’s just stupid. I just wanted to get a puppy because I wanted it to grow up with my animals – and so I could bond with it – and teach it tricks. I’ve never had a puppy before – I’ve always had an older dog from a pound… or my other family members got puppies (and I was too young to remember)… I don’t even think I got a chance to even play with them.

It’s like hitting my head against a brick wall sometimes. I am almost totally disheartened about posting about dogs at all. I feel that no matter what I say – it’s going to be shot down and then… once more referred to a rescue that I have viewed before. *sigh*

It seems to people like this that all I deserve is to take up where someone irrisponsible jerk left off... since I'm "obviously one of them"... GGGGRRRR!
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-06-2004, 02:57 PM
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Gabreilla: Yes there are a lot of people out there like that on various forums.
We each have our own breeds that we care about and are very familure with. And I honestly am one to tell a person when they would not be the best fit for such a breed.
We say things like this in the intrest of the dog, as well as yourself and possible family.
Granted some people could say it a bit more nicely then others.

For years people warned me against getting a Shiba Inu, saying I was unfit for such a dog and to just go get something like a Lab. But I continued to research them, meet breeders and prepair myself for one. Now I've been working with Shiba's and similar breeds for years and everyone see's what a great job I do, and how happy said dogs are with me.

That is really the only advice I can give you. Try to listen to what they say, but don't take it to heart too much.

PS: It's not just with dogs. You will find people like that all over dispite the type of animal you are dealing with.
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-06-2004, 03:02 PM Thread Starter
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I know... but why even mention changing my mind in the first place if they think I should stick with a smaller dog? I know they want me to make a good decision - but I feel strange that the shoot my ideas down - or questions - without offering sugestions in their wake. At least they told you to get a lab. They just sort of say "Nope... not compatable" and leave me to pick up the pieces... or wondering what I should say or do.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-06-2004, 03:14 PM Thread Starter
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Actually... I'm wondering why I even let them influence me to begin with... I probably should have stuck to my guns and stayed with doxies or chis like I had originally wanted to do... even though sheepies are very nice and compatable with me... man... so confusing!

They tell me to pick another dog... then tell me I should have more experience with that kind of dog or that I'm not compatable... gawd... I helped a doxie and chi breeder take care of her animals... wasn't that enough experience for them?

I'm seriously feeling stupid right now. I feel like I've fallen into a trap for someone's amusement.
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-06-2004, 03:22 PM
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I know which forum you are talking of, and I just want to say, don't take it to heart. I've "known" some of those people for a long time (we were all on another forum which crashed for a while). Those people are very nice and just want the best for you and for the potential dog. Many of them know what they are talking about because they show, attend shows or do lots of agility/obedience with their dogs. They study, work hard and find out all they can about different breeds. And alot of them don't see beyond what your typing because it's a forum, they don't know the whole situation.
Try to learn from it, I got alot of crap because I would post things on forums that I didn't know about and people would jump down my throat. I remember when first getting into rats years ago, I asked if I should breed my hairless because she was so hyper and I thought breeding her would calm her down, a TON of people nearly burnt me at the stake. Now I know why and would never DREAM of breeding anything because there are too many animals here on this world. But I didn't know then, I learned from it though.
Take what they say with a spoon of sugar, so to speak, when reading it. Sometimes it may sound like they are being harsh, but then again, you can't hear their tone of voice and they can't hear yours, so as long as no-one is bluntly calling you dumb, or insulting you, they are just trying to help you.

And please stick around the forum, we'd hate to lose a member due to misuunderstanding. There is much to learn there and mostly friendly people.

PS - I am Kelly on that particular forum you are talking about.

Also wanted to add, they are very picky on breeders and usually can tell a good breeder from a bad one (bad being a backyard breeder or mass producer), so let them help you with that, it's really hard to tell when a breeder is just in it for the profit, but many of them know alot more than you and I do about it.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-06-2004, 03:25 PM
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The best thing to do right now.

Is pick 2 or 3 breeds that you REALLY want.
Research your butt off on on them. Meet with breeders and people who own the dogs or show them etc. Don't be afraid to let this take a lot of time. You want to make sure that you are getting the best dog for you. And it will only get easier the more you know about such breeds.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-06-2004, 04:06 PM Thread Starter
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Oh cool! Nice to meet you on another forum hehe.

Well - I'll probably be banned after what I wrote anyway. It wouldn't hurt them to be a bit nicer to me... I'm trying to learn about dogs and burning me at the steak without a backwards glace is getting a little irritating. Also - it seems like they don't really read my posts through... so they end up arguing about a point that I have already corrected in my thinking. Such as shipping dogs from a better breeder. Also - when it was mentioned that I might just be getting a dog just so I can say "I have a purebreed" is a bit over the top...

I think that I will just wait until later to start posting again - that is - after I have a dog to worry about - and actually ask questions for. I can do some research on my own - and it's probably what I should have done in the first place.

If I'm not banned from the forum for what I said - I think I'll just get a different name and start fresh whichever dogs I chose to get. If I do get banned though - I guess there are other forums hehe. It's too bad though - that one was very active.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-07-2004, 11:47 AM
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I really wish you the best of luck deciding on the perfect dog for you. I know all about changing your mind. I went from English Bulldogs, French Bulldogs, and Boston Terriers to Great Danes and Mastiffs I still love all of them and wouldn't mind one of each, but I looooove my big doggies

I'm not sure I completely understood, but were you saying that all the breeders of the Old English Sheepdogs were telling you not to get one simply because you had originally wanted a smaller dog or something? That sounds like they're being really stuck up about their dogs. I can understand if they don't think its a good match, but I really think they owe you more of an explaination.

Well keep doing your research and when you decide its the perfect dog for you, then you can start contacting breeders and tell them EXACTLY why its perfect for you. Like I said in another post, I'm probably going to end up adopting a Great Dane or two later on in my life for different reasons. It makes me feel good to help dogs in need, and I just don't have the patience to train a puppy. I'd love a pure bred dog, but its just not something for me. I'm sure you're making the right decision for yourself, so stick to it. As far as i can tell, you're doing everything the right way. Not just going out to buy a dog on a whim, but doing your research and THINKING about it a lot for a long time before you know you'll get the dog. Keep it up and you'll get your perfect puppy in the end


"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-07-2004, 12:24 PM
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: connecticut
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The internet can be wonderful in so many ways but it also can be a very bad thing. You post a post and people will judge you from it and read between the lines. It is a major problem.

Besides cats, I enjoy chinchillas as pets. We see a lot of bickering and judging on our boards also. People get protective of what they perceive as "theirs" and to an extent they are right to do so. Perhaps these people on the dog board would of done better to pm you privately to get to know you or asked you more questions before they jumpted the gun. Oh well...I guess you live and learn

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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-07-2004, 01:43 PM Thread Starter
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Yeah - it would have been nice (the pm thing) hehe. Nah - it was a PBT breeder who told me that - which is funny because I never asked her for a dog anyway.

I'm starting to think that I really don't need a dog forum anyway.

If there is something wrong with a dog - training for example - I can go to a trainer who understands dogs etc. Where do you go when you need your cat to stop scratching or what kind of food is right? I've never heard anyone on this forum say "Well goodness! My cat just won't sit!" Reply: "Well... go to that new kitty trainer class down the street... they'll fix you up just right" If I need to know more about a dog - I can go to websites and the kennel clubs and look things up - that's where I am always refered to anyway.

I think there is a lot more material for dogs than there are for cats... and a lot of people who I know who understand their dogs a lot better that I can just ask! I've had dogs for most of my life until 3 years ago... I don't know what I'm freaking out about. I think I'll just make my own rules for my animals - research the dogs I want and the breeders. I think I have enough info now to make a sound decision anyway.

Who needs all the hassle when all your doing is trying to find a dog and make the right decisions? Man... I shouldn't be awake half the night wondering what people are getting at... of being insulted... weird.

Plus - if I did need anything - I could probably just ask here.
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