I know what you mean about doing just enough to make the grade. My anxiety/depression isn't just clinical depression... it's actually brought on in major part because I have "obsessive-compulsive tendencies". Which basically means I'm a horrible perfectionist who tends to break down when I screw up. Considering the start of this semester has been one thing going wrong after another, it's really sucked! So anyways, I have a really high GPA and it really kills me to not keep it up - but I just can't keep doing that to myself! If I settled for Bs it would be so much easier...
I could quit the TA job and find another one, but really the TA job doesn't take up much time and it's right after one of my classes so it doesn't cost me any extra driving time or money (yay!). It's even kind of fun.
And it looks great on my resume, hehe. But I think I do need to find another job. My brother actually just showed me a job opening in his company, but it might require more experience than I have, but it's a computer systems job, right up my alley. I just don't know if I want to be putting more pressure on myself right now. Then again, the experience would be great.... agh.
I'm not sleeping very well lately, which isn't helping. But by the time I get to bed I'm either wired and not tired, or very tired but just so bogged down in feeling upset it's hard to sleep. It hurts so much being away from my fiance - no different from the past three years, but it still hurts. He's visiting for Christmas, though, so I'm majorly looking forward to that!
You know what sucks? So far this has been one of my lightest semesters for homework! I'm serious, it's been a month so far and I've had NO homework! And yet this is the most stressed I've been. I don't get it.
I think it's just burnout, through and through - I never recovered from last semester (which was the WORST I've been through yet). I'm really hoping that the lack of homework now doesn't mean harder at the end of the semester. Fingers crossed, there...
Thanks for the support everyone. It feels better just to vent and scream and cry sometimes.