Kicked Out of Day Care Again. - What To Do - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-21-2004, 06:29 PM Thread Starter
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Kicked Out of Day Care Again. - What To Do

Well, I just enrolled my daughter in her third daycare 2 weeks ago.
My daughter is 4 1/2 years old, only child.
I deeply explained the ways of my daughter and what to expect to her new caretaker.

This time she was in a home day care setting, instead of a Daycare/School Building. My daughter seemed to really be enjoying herself at this new place more then the other one.

But today my fiance goes to pick her up to go home, and her daycare provider tells him that she will not be able to care of our daughter anymore.

1.) She doesn't fit in well with the age groups. However, she has an infant, a 1 year old, a 2 year old, her own 2 sons ages 5, and 7 I believe. Not to mention all the kids of all ages on her block that come over daily to hang out.

2.) She doesn't take naps, so the other kids don't want to nap either.

3.) She can't handle her.

These were her own words.

So, my question is, what do I do now? How many more daycares does my kid have to get kicked out of? My fiance and I both work full time jobs, so staying home with her again is not an option. Besides, my daughter needs the socialization.
I also wanted to say, that I do not blame this lady at all. I know my daughter better then anyone, and there is very FEW people I can trust to watch my daughter, and even then, they always seem to want me to return earlier then planned, to pick her up.
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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-21-2004, 09:44 PM
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I work part-time at a daycare, and all I can say is that it must have been pretty bad to be kicked out. Normally daycares will not kick a kid out because they loose the money. The only time we've had to kick someone out is when there was this horrible biter

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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-21-2004, 10:41 PM
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Could you talk to this woman and find out more specifically why your daughter wasn't working out at this daycare?
As in, why doesn't she fit in with the age groups? Why can't she handle her? Is there a specific behavior that needs to be worked on? (You may already know this...I don't know.)
As for the naps...could a compromise be reached? If you daughter won't take naps, will she lay quietly and look at books while the others are napping? I know when I worked in a daycare, several of the kids between 4 and 5 did not nap and that is what they did. As long as they didn't disturb the others, it was okay.
I know it may not be an option, but could she be enrolled in a school's preK program? I ask since you said she is 4 1/2.

Shannon
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-21-2004, 10:45 PM
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I'm really sorry you have to go through this -- I see it all the time. I am a therapist for autistic children. The schools they get kicked out of are very numerous, and daycare is virtually impossible. It's so hard on the parents as well as the children, who really need the socialization. Often one parent ends up staying at home when they had intended to be a working parent. When a child of ours finds a good school or daycare that is equipped to deal with all types of children, it feels like such a relief, a blessing even. Sometimes the search feels endless. I really hope that you find the care you need -- I feel for you. Is your daughter special needs, or just headstrong/mature/energetic?
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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-21-2004, 10:48 PM Thread Starter
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Spittles:

Well, starting about middle of last year, my daughter who at that time behaved like a regular kid for her age.
Eventually, I started getting these notes about how my daughter was basically becoming more and more violent. Biting a lot, spitting in childrens faces and food. Hitting, Kicking, specially kicking her pregnant teacher in the stomach, Screaming, you name it!
She had never done anything like this before. And until earlier this year we never saw her do anything quiet like that! I felt like they must have been making lies about my daughter.
But eventually this leaked over into our home life as well and the realization started setting in.

She just began her new Day Care, at my friends sisters house, as far as I know, there was only one biting incident, because my daughter and another girl, the 2 1/2 year old have issues sharing toys.
Besides that, the Provider has not given me any specific indications of incidents which caused her to make the decision to no longer care for my child.

A bigger problem, we have a reduced rate where she is now of $125.00 a week, now any other place around here, specially the Private Facilities are all $175.00-200.00 a week. We simply just don't have the money for that right now.
The lady is giving us a month to find someone else, but she really wants her gone ASAP.

How can I find an adiquite care taker for my child?
She gives me just as much of a hard time as she does anyone else, but I love her and I'm not about to just send her away to some one else.
How can I find a Day Care to care for my daughter like that?
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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-21-2004, 10:53 PM
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Perhaps, as mentioned, you could enroll her in a preK program? Sometimes schools are better equipped than daycares.
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-21-2004, 10:58 PM
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Did you look into why your daughter changed so suddenly? I mean that is quite scary. For someone to change like that something might have happened to her. Is this something that you have looked into or considered? My first thought hearing about her behavior was ADHD but if it came on so suddenly perhaps someone did something to her. I have a friend who has a daughter who does similiar things but she has been like that and is now in kindergarten. She has been diagnosed as having ADHD.

I would talk to your doctor and/or seek medical advice immediately.

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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-21-2004, 11:14 PM Thread Starter
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shlanon: I'm not too pressed into trying to get this lady to keep my child in her care. If she feels she can't handler her, then she is obviously not the right person for my daughter.
My little one won't take naps, and no she will not sit still and or read quietly while others are napping. A former day care tried to get her to do this for a year.

ForJazz: At this time, I believe she is just very independant, stubborn and defiant. I have not had her fully evaluated yet, I can't find anyone willing to do it, as most say there is no point until she is at least 5 years old, and right now we do not have health insurance for such a thing at any rate. Though, she has also been very either, unwilling to... or almost unable to progress in her learning, with things such as abc's, reading, numbers. Though, she hides a lot of her abilties from me for some reason. One day she suddenly shows me that she can do something PERFECTLY but wouldn't even acknoledge before.
About the PreK, I had her in a Preschool program, Head Start before, she did "slightly" better in that, but she still didn't want to fully co-operate in the program, and had a few behavoiral issues over there too.
The PreK programs around here are also in the very expensive bracket (around $200.00) a week, though I have certainly looked into them.

Doeremi: I have spoken to a therapist, and our family doctor about my daughter on several occasions, it was noted so far that there is nothing physically wrong with her, as for anything else, they think it is too soon to tell as far as ADHD goes, and they were not able to spend enough time with her to analyze her.

Until my daughter was about 2 1/2 I never had to even really say the word "No" to her, let alone see her in trouble for doing anything else. She really was a perfect angel.
But at the same time we moved out of state to a new home with my fiance. She started to enter into her "terrible two's" around that time. It has steadily gotten worse, specially once entering daycare at the age of 3, upon moving to another state.
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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-22-2004, 12:23 AM
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Maybe the amount of moving is what the issue is. I'm not her age, so I can't enter her mind, but it seems as if the moving is what's causing her outbursts. Unstability can cause an older child to act out, so I don't see why it would be surprising that a 3 year old (now 5) would do the same.

I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and hope that you find out what it was that changed your daughter so much.
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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 10-22-2004, 02:30 AM
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I have no advice for you Angelzoo, but all the best.

Sam-
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