The Wife Beater Downstairs - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 12:05 PM Thread Starter
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The Wife Beater Downstairs

I'm so tired of listening to the guy downstairs scream at his wife. This is not normal arguing, it is SCREAMING!!! I've said something to them before about how I can hear them, but obviously, they don't care. The sad thing is they just had a baby the week of Christmas, so they are subjecting an innocent person to this nonsense (okay, three people including my boyfriend and I). I just couldn't imagine my boyfriend screaming at me like that -- and staying with him? There's definitely something wrong with the guy, but the girl has to be mental to stay with him.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 12:35 PM
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If it's screaming only, you should talk to the apartment manager. They deal with complaints about noise. If you hear him hitting her, or see any physical evidence that he's done so, you should immediately call the police.
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 12:59 PM
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In defense of the woman, you don't know what he's threatened her with or what her situation is, so I wouldn't necessarily consider her mental. Plus she just had a baby and is probably not feeling 100% and is very vulnerable right now. Typically right after having a baby is not the ideal time to leave your husband.

Having been through a similar situation, I can tell you that the best thing for this woman would be for you to call the police. Often, it's difficult to do this type of thing yourself while in a situation like this and having someone else to have seen, heard or witnessed something is often a blessing in disguise. If he finds out that she called the police herself, he's likely to do more damage to her whether it be physical or emotional.

I feel for her, it's a terrible position to be in and you can never understand unless you've been there.
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 02:21 PM Thread Starter
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Fortunately, I haven't been in the situation -- I was just saying, I can't imagine someone screaming at me like that or imagine putting up with it. It isn't something new either -- they were screamers from the day they moved in last May.

But you're right, the next time, the police will be called.
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 03:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hippyhart
Fortunately, I haven't been in the situation -- I was just saying, I can't imagine someone screaming at me like that or imagine putting up with it.
I see what you are saying, I only felt the need to acknowledge it because you said she "has to be mental" and that's not true.

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Originally Posted by Hippyhart
It isn't something new either -- they were screamers from the day they moved in last May.
It could have started yesterday, it could have been going on for years, but unless you are in that position, you don't know how you would handle it. And, again, you don't know the whole story. There is always more than meets the eye (or ear, in this case).

I'd like to think there won't be a next time, but there probably will and I'm glad to hear you'll call the police when it happens. You may not feel like it's your responsibility, and if they find out you did it, both of them may be upset about it, but in the end it will be a great help to this woman. Good luck.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 06:51 PM
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Yes call the police. Even if there is no abuse going on they are becoming a nuisance and disturbing the peace if you can hear them screaming that loud. I have the same problem with my downstairs neighbor. Ive been waken up many a weekend by thuds against the walls, slamming doors, and crazy screams. Fortunately the neighbor across from me usually calls the police before I can. The apartments might not let her stay much longer.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-20-2005, 07:50 PM
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It's probably best for the police to have a record of this. If the verbal abuse then accelerates and becomes physical, they will be more likely to bring charges against him, even if she won't. And, as jonsgirl pointed out, the situation is already a public nuisance! Their rights should end where yours begin!




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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 01:32 AM
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on an aside-

i had a friend who was going to college and taking a class on domestic violence. one day she got into a tickle fight with her boyfriend which apparently got very rough, because as she was leaving, police stopped her in her hallway. she explained nothing was going on, just a bit of fun, and they left. just think what would have happened if they'd gone into her apartment and seen books everywhere on domestic violence!

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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 01:39 AM
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Yep- call the police. This is not a fair situation to a newborn baby. The more reports the police have-the better.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-21-2005, 03:17 AM
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Screaming doesn't make anyone a wifebeater. I'd say MYOB until something happens that makes it your business. Depending on what state you live in, a call to the cops could guarantee someone a trip to jail and a criminal record, quite possbly for nothing. I can understand your concern, I've rented for over 20 years and seen it all. Best policy is to mind your own business until your personal safety or property is infringed upon, not your beliefs.

...cuz the bottom line is, what they do in their apartment or in front of their baby is really none of your business. period. I'm sure I'll catch crap for it, but it's the truth.

-steve


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