you know your a californian if...... - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-01-2005, 05:54 PM Thread Starter
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Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 13
you know your a californian if......

I just found this.
Quite amusing although not entirely true.

1. Your coworker has 8 body piercing's and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a
conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.


7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.


8. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news
station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're
here illegally, they want to give you one.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-01-2005, 06:29 PM
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Those are funny!
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-01-2005, 06:46 PM
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Gotta admit...living in L.A....some are true...that was funy.

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow "
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-01-2005, 10:26 PM
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Re: you know your a californian if......

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheDataCat
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

19. The Terminator is your governor.
I have a few edits:

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH." Within an hour, all the streets are flooded to the top of the curb.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents. You are still late.

19. The Terminator is your governor. That's the Governator, to you.

Those are great!


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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-01-2005, 10:30 PM
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Another classic!

Quote:
For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study really hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area.

GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION

Name:___________________
Stage name: __________________
Agent:___________________ Attorney:____________________
Therapist:________________________
Sex: ___male ___female* ___ formerly male ___formerly female ____both
*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___

Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
If you don't own a cell phone, please explain: ________________________

Please check hair color:
Females:
[ ] Blonde
[ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers (check all that apply):
[ ] Red
[ ] Orange
[ ] Green
[ ] Purple
[ ] Blue
[ ] Skinhead

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for your convenience)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / Reloading

Please indicate how many times
a) you expect to shoot at other drivers_____
b) you expect to be shot at while driving _____

If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime.
b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase.
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through.
d) Call your therapist.

In the event of an earthquake, you should :
a) stop your car
b) keep driving and hope for the best.
c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones.
d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 9.

In the instance of rain, you should:
a) never drive over 5 MPH.
b) drive twice as fast as usual.
c) you're not sure what "rain" is.

Please indicate number of therapy sessions you go to each week: ______.

Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
a) Prozac
b) Vicodin
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
f) Zoloft
g) All of the above
h) None of the above
*If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
a) Less than 1 hour
b) 1 hour
c) 2 hours
d) 3 hours
e) 4 hours or more
* If less than 1 hour, please explain:____________________.


DRIVER'S LICENSE EXAMINATION

When stopped by police, you should:
a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready.
b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway.
c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.

When turning, you should always signal your intentions by:
a) using your directional signals.
b) what is a "directional signal"?

Which part of your car will wear out most often?
a) the wiper blades
b) the belts
c) the horn

The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
a) dark, poorly lit roads
b) flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
c) revenge!

Your rear view mirror is for:
a) watching for approaching cars
b) watching for approaching police cars
c) checking your hair


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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 03:02 AM
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LMAO this is soooo funny! Totally true...I am originally from Illinios and boy are things different in california!
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 12:13 PM
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Hehe those were both great! Except I gotta tell ya, even down in Houston, it starts sprinkling and you know you have to leave at least an hour early to get to where you're going b/c traffic gets sloooooooow
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-02-2005, 11:40 PM
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just had to add mine!

You know you're Californian if you:

Pass Traffic by using the right(slow) lane
---------------------------------------


sorry am I the only one that got that????????
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