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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 08:32 AM Thread Starter
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Wedding opinions

I'm getting married in November and we're doing it our way, which happens to be small ceremony and a party afterwards. It's maybe costing £1500 if that and we are very happy about the way it is all happening. Everything is our choice and I'm really exciuted about it. BUT for some reason many friends and family keep saying how sorry they are that we aren't having a big wedding! My brother is getting married in September and it is a massive frilly fancy affair costing thousands. He's happy, bride is happy, everyone thinks it's wonderful. We were talking about both weddings and a family member started going on about which wedding would cost the most. I'm not daft, it won't be mine. So what. I then had people going on about how embarassed I must have been about that since I was only having a wee affair. Poor me, I must have felt awful.

At which point was the rule passed that you must spend a small fortune to have a nice wedding day! I know this might sound a bit of a silly moan but it is really annoying me. I'm happy for my brother that he is having a big day, as is my friend next year. Just wish people would see I am doing things my way and I am happy. Anyone else ever have this happen?

Sorry for moaning!

Claire x
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 09:23 AM
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utter pish that you should spend loads to have a great wedding. My ideal wedding includes the people that me and my other half want there and no one else having a good laugh, lots of drink and lots of fun! Why should you go all out just to keep everyone else happy?

Hayley x x
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 09:37 AM
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My wedding next June is going to be done on a very low budget. This doesn't mean though that I'll have a totally lame and pathetic wedding! Because I'm doing most things on my own(flowers mainly), I will be saving a lot of money. There are other things I'm doing cheaper too, not getting a $1000 wedding gown for example (Mine was $150 on Ebay, including shipping). I'm marrying the last son in an Indian family, so they want it to be this big bash. But they realize that it is our wedding and not theirs so they aren't interfering too much.

Just tell you family that your brother and future sis-in-law are doing what they want for their wedding and you and your future husband are doing what you guys want for your wedding. If they have problems with that then that's their problem and not yours.

♥ Rosanna ♥
(No I wasn't named after that Toto song, and yes I know who Roseanne Roseannadanna was
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 09:43 AM
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My family is the exact same - not only do they want us to get married soon - but it has to be the wedding to put everything else to shame. my cousin had this huge wedding with like 1000 people (they knew maybe 200 of them) - it was more used as a promitional event for her dad's business but for some reason - my family feels they have to do better than that!

My sister had a very small wedding with my family thinking it wa the right thing to do to get her married off because she was pregnant (because everyone so believes the baby was 2 months early )

So with me, its also making up for my sister not having a wedding. We aren't even engaged, yet every time I speak to my mum she starts going on about weddings and that it will be a church wedding and *she* is inviting blah blah blah. Then his parents are being like my uncle and want to turn it into some promo event for *their* business!

Its your day - do what you want to make *you and your fiance* happy - not everyone else.


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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 10:08 AM
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Misty, I think it is wonderful that you are doing what you want to do instead of what everyone else wants. Your day wil be so special because of that.
People always think they know what others are feeling. I have gotten the "Oh poor you, you must feel left out" when family members and very close friends have had babies. I don't WANT babies, why would I feel bad!!
Try not to let them bother you, some people are just like that.
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 11:37 AM Thread Starter
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My mum and dad are fantastic thankfully and are on our side 100 % which makes a huge difference for me. I think what has annoyed me the most is the way people ignore the fact you are saying quite clearly that you are happy. The ironic thing is my bro is having al these arguements and fall outs over arrangements and I'm having a great time making things and getting organised.

Claire x
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 11:58 AM
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That's good that your mom and dad see it your way. Jon and I want a small wedding too..just the two of us somewhere far away (our families are too scattered around). Our parents support us 100% but my friends at work always have something smart to say. Like everyone else has said, it's your day!
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 11:58 AM
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We managed to spend only $3000US (about the same as yours) on our wedding. Granted, we really didn't have a "big" wedding (80 people or so), but it was perfect. The majority of the money went for tent/chair/table rentals, as it was outdoors, and the catering. Flowers, cake, and film (no photographer, and we didn't need one, honestly) rounded out the bill. No musicians or DJ. No favors - which get thrown away, or candies - which are unnecessary with a massive cake, or insanely expensive napkins - which get soiled and trashed. We were very selective about where we put our money, and we were thrilled with the results.

We are the smart ones, my dear, who will not be in debt in twenty years from our weddings. Hang in there!
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 01:00 PM
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So I should come and stop by to take some pictures?

We're going to Canada in the end of october, going back home in mid november or so. (I'm trying to come up with a reason to go to Scotland )

People always have opinons about how you should do a wedding. Just do it your own way and stop listening to them. It'll only bug you. Put your hands over your ears and then move them while you say "la la la la, I can't hear you"
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2005, 01:16 PM
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Whilst on the topic of weddings - my cousin gets married next weekend and she has been "forced" into a lot of things she doesn't want...

My cousin's younger brother has recently been given the "remission" signal after battling for years with a cancerous brain tumour (he is now 21) so this wedding is the first good thing to happen for a lil while now.

They booked the date based on the kids summer hols (my cousin is a teacher) and when her church could fit them in.

First off her future mother in law INSISTED that ALL her fiancee's family from some far flung county be invited to the sit down meal as well as wedding and evening reception. She has a smaller family so argued with her a lot about this. In the end they set rules about who should or should not be invited to the sit down meal (most costly bit so numbers limited). They said anyone that did not know them as a couple were not invited and agredd not to invite anyone (family or otherwise) that they really did not want there for whatever reason.

Two of my aunts were on the "not invited" list These aunts constantly meddled in my cousins' lives whilst they were going through a difficult period - to the extent that it made their Mum ill with worry.

SO... her Dad INSISTED they were invited... (joy...)

NEXT... one of these aunts has a wedding aniversary the SAME DAY as the wedding. No one knew for a start as she usually hates the attention but she was apparently going to plan a party as it was there 40th aniversary. At first she was still going to have the party... then everyone said they were going to my cousin's wedding instead

Then, the cheeky moo asked my cousin if she could have her own aniversary cake to cut at HER WEDDING RECEPTION!! ***?! If it was me I'd have told her where to put her cake... But no... Her Dad INSISTS she allows it to stop the aunt hassling her Mum again.

I guess what I am trying to say is - be glad you don't have MY family... and isn't next weekend going to be fun?! mwhahaha!

Hayley x x
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