Okay, I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this, but there is something that's been bugging me.
Backstory: I had only one serious boyfriend before I started dating my husband. We'll call him "A". He and I dated for about 3 years off and on in high school. It obviously didn't work out and it has been...5 years or so since we broke up. Still, after the initial breakup and him getting upset about me dating husband, we would talk to each other on the phone maybe every 6 months or so, just a "hi how are you" kind of thing. This ended about 2 years ago, I thought I had his cell phone number, but lost it and he never called back. Well, I found his little sister's xanga about 1 year ago. I left a note on it saying "How is A doing?" She wrote back and said that he was well and had just gotten engaged. Then I looked on my friend's xanga and A had gotten his sister to leave a note giving his email address for her to get in touch with him. So of course I wondered how come he was trying to get in touch with her and not with me and that made me sad.
I thought maybe it was because I had so much on my xanga about me getting married and maybe he just didn't want to deal with that...but then, he was engaged, so who cares? So anyway, he got married at the beginning of June and his sister wrote about it in her diary. And it just made my stomach drop to think about him getting married, I don't know why, it's not like I want him. It was just weird. So I left a note telling her to tell him congrats. So anyway, now I'm having dreams with A in them, just where we are talking to each other and stuff, about life, whatever.
All of this just really bugs me. I don't know why any of it is even on my mind because it shouldn't really matter to me. I thought about asking his sister for his email address, but I don't know if I want to do that. I think it's just that I miss knowing what is going on in his life and I don't want to lose contact with my "first love". I'm not sure what to do about it...it kind of ticks me off that I am having dreams about him.
Edit: I went back and looked at his sister's xanga, I had left her a message back giving her my email address to give to A and said he could drop me a line if he wanted. So I don't know.