On the lighter side - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
 
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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old 08-04-2005, 04:18 PM Thread Starter
Cool Cat
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Santa Rosa, California
Posts: 1,068
On the lighter side

Hello Folks,

I was following some of the threads here and thought it was TIME FOR SOMETHING LIGHTER so without further adew, I present you with a couple of ALL AGE funnies!(This is to appease the censors)


***Reasoning Powers***

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: “Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see”. Watson said “I see millions and millions of stars”. Holmes: “And what does that tell you?” Watson: “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?” Holmes: “Somebody stole our tent”.

***Batter Up***

Two old men, Moe and Sam, have been friends all their lives. Well,
it seems that Sam is dying, so Moe comes to visit him. “Sam,” says Moe, “you know how we have both loved baseball all our lives. Sam, you’ve got to do me one favor. When you go, somehow you’ve got to tell me if there’s baseball in heaven.” Sam looks up at Moe from his deathbed and says, “Moe, you’ve been my friend many years. This favor I’ll do for you.” And with that,Sam passes on. It is midnight a couple nights later. Moe is sound asleep when a distant voice calls out to him, “Moe....Moe....” “Moe, it’s Sam.” “Come on. You’re not Sam. Sam died.” “I’m telling you,” insists the voice. “It’s me, Sam!” “Sam? Is that you? Where are you?” “I’m in heaven,” says Sam, “and I’ve got to tell you, I’ve got some good news and
some bad news for you.” “Tell me the good news first,” says Moe. “The good news,” says Sam “is that there is baseball in heaven.” “Really?” says Moe, “That’s wonderful! But what’s the bad news?” “You’re pitching Tuesday!”

***Math Mistake***

Two men spent the day sitting on the beach in Santa Monica, California, drinking a case of beer. As they drank, they got into an argument about the length of the Santa Monica pier. One of them helped build the pier, and said that it was 144 feet long. We used exactly 216 planks and each one was eight inches wide. 216 times 8 divided by 12 is 144, he reasoned.

The other man continued to argue, and eventually decided to settle the argument by crawling the length of the pier, counting the planks as he went. His friend, waiting on the beach, was astounded when he saw the crawler go right off the end of the pier and into the ocean.

When the man came staggering back, soaked to the skin, his friend asked, What happened?

Well, came the replied from his inebriated friend, I decided to ignore the planks and count the slits between them. But I forgot that when you’re out of slits, you’re out of pier!
*******************

So perhaps this will lighten the modd here a wee bit.

Ciao!

**Your Portion Of Light**

Whether you are a brilliant flame or
but a tiny spark matters not-for the world needs whatever portion of light is yours to give.

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