Move over Jeff Foxworthy...Clint's Medical Terms! - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-12-2005, 04:14 PM Thread Starter
Cool Cat
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Santa Rosa, California
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Move over Jeff Foxworthy...Clint's Medical Terms!

Just a short list I through together in my spare time over the last couple of years. Thought those of you in the medical field might need them around the office!

Have a good weekend all!

Ciao!


**THE REDNECK DICTIONARY OF MEDICAL TERMS**

Benign........What you be after you be eight.
Artery..........The study of paintings.
Bacteria.......Back door to cafeteria.
Barium........What doctors do when patients die
Cesarean Section......A neighborhood in Rome.
CATscan....................Searching for kitty.
Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her.
Colic...........................A sheep dog.
Coma..........................A punctuation mark.
D & C.........................Where Washington is.
Dilate..........................To live long.
Enema.........................Not a friend.
Fester..........................Quicker than someone else.
Fibula..........................A small lie.
Genital........................Non-Jewish person.
G.I. Series....................World Series of military baseball
Hangnail......................What you hang your coat on.
Impotent.......................Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain....................Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff.................A Doctor's cane.
Morbid..........................A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates........................Cheaper than day rates.
Node............................I knew it.
Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear..................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis..........................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative...........A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...........Place to do upholstery.
Rectum........................**** near killed him.
Secretion......................Hiding something.
Seizure........................Roman emperor.
Tablet..........................A small table.
Terminal Illness.............Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor...........................More than one.
Urine...........................Opposite of you're out.
Varicose......................Near by/close by.
********
Jeff Foxworthy has nothing on me!

**Your Portion Of Light**

Whether you are a brilliant flame or
but a tiny spark matters not-for the world needs whatever portion of light is yours to give.

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-12-2005, 05:50 PM
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lol, those are great...thanks for the laugh.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-12-2005, 07:06 PM
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I really & truly laughed out loud at those! Too funny!!

judy
"Where am I going and what am I doing in this handbasket?"
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-12-2005, 08:11 PM
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I have a T-shirt with items very similar to those on it, only it is titled "Norwegian Medical Terminology." Pretty funny though.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-12-2005, 10:39 PM
Tom Cat
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: North Texas
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OMG...Jeff Foxworthy. Don't even get me started LOL!

If I wasn't so tired, I would tell the true story of how I met my husband. It is well-worth a Foxworthy story...or, perhaps a Jerry Springer "stage performance" - come to think of it, if we combined both with the TRUE story of how I met my hubby, most of you would think I was lying or psychotic - or both.

I will have to post it tomorrow, when my brain isn't so dead. I'll put a watch on this one and add my fox-'worthy' episode: "How a redneck meets a date...." according to Brynn and Jeff.
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-13-2005, 05:43 PM Thread Starter
Cool Cat
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
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You would be surprised at what you come up with after sitting in front of a computer screen for 12 hrs. per day. The mind DOES wonder!

**Your Portion Of Light**

Whether you are a brilliant flame or
but a tiny spark matters not-for the world needs whatever portion of light is yours to give.

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