I think if one partner doesn't have their own income, i.e. "dependent" on the other, then the one with the income should give some to the other to use however they see fit. That's over and above what's alloted for running the household plus personal care. How much, of course, depends on how much disposable income there is after expenses. And I suppose it's OK to keep the excess from the allotment for the household budget. Call this a "secret stash" if you will. There's no need for the other to know what use it's put to.
I don't think that one partner should appropriate money from the other without their knowledge and consent for any reason. This seems to me to be a breach of trust. Perhaps even an outright falsehood. It can't do a relationship any good.
If the dependent partner feels inadequately provided for, there needs to be some serious discussion. There might be a lack of understanding on one side or the other.
If both are working, I think the "ours" -- "mine" -- "yours" division of funds can avoid a lot of arguments about how money is spent.