The Night Before Christmas
A Story By Clint Scagliola
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a mouse.
All the children were upstairs in bed tucked away, in the hopes the next morning they'd have Nintendo to play!
On Toyota, Nissan, Range Rover and Chevy, it's off to the malls on a gift-cramming foray. We dashed and danced across the mall floors, the clocking ticking down 6 hours now 4!
As we stood in the lines waiting to pay, we could hear Santa yelling, "Visa and MasterCard accepted today"!
Back to the car we ran and with glee, we had gotten the last Robot Nuke'm Ranger and blaster for free.
Drive, drive, drive till you drop its home we must go before the sun pops!
We entered the house with 1 hour to go; our packages wrapped our noses so cold. DANG BLAST SLAM BOOM, I shouted with glee, my wallet is missing and I have to go pee!
Back to our sleigh, its four wheels spinning, my foot to the floor the smoke from the tires clearing.
110 in a 65 zone nothing could stop this v8 it's blown.
I entered the parking lot sideways in a rush, running over the guard knocking him into the brush. "HOLY CRAP" I shouted when the car finally stopped, was that a deer a moose or a cop?
My grill was shattered with water spilling out, the stores all closing as the time ran out!
Suddenly I heard a voice from afar, it said to put my hands up and step away from the car.
As I turned my head the thing that I saw was a cop covered with brush his gun all adraw.
"Step away from the car" he again yelled, you crazy butthead shooting you would be a thrill.
And that's when it happened, in a long warm gush, the pee I had not taken flowed from my bladder with a rush.
I awoke in a room with bars straight and silver, my hands black with ink and my pants wet with pitter.
"You'll get life for what you did," said the cop at the desk, you killed a squirrel a mouse a bird and a pig!
The morning dawned with light through the bars, Drunk Santa’s complaining about peeing in a jar.
Suddenly it happened, in a rush and a boom, a tree through the roof, nightmare and doom!
The lights went out and the cell opened up, we all ran for the door like stag deer during rut.
AWAY, AWAY, AWAY and with glee I was free, free at last and happy to say Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
Copyright(c) 2005 Scagliola Consulting. All rights reserved.