Commitment Ceremonies - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 03:42 PM Thread Starter
 
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Commitment Ceremonies

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 4 years. We have talked about marriage and have both decided it really isn't for us (at least that is how we feel now). I told Sean eventually I would like to at least have a ceremony of some sort. Nothing huge. Just something with family and close friends. A party/celebration if you will with the exchange of vows and maybe rings. I was bumming around on the internet and I found this website that talked about "Commitment Ceremonies" and it sounded a lot like what I was after. anyone else had something like this in lew of marriage? If you have, will you share your experience?

Here is a link outlining what it is all about.
http://www.unmarried.org/ceremonies.html
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 04:09 PM
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Just curious, what's any different from a "marriage" ceremony with vows and rings than a "commitment" ceremony with vows and rings? Just wondering what your reasons are for not wanting to do the marriage thing. Sorry if I'm being nosy....you don't have to reply to me if you don't want to!
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 04:29 PM
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are you both unwanting a wedding recognised by the government or a "church" wedding?

if you want to go a deeper route, look up handfasting ceremonies?
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 04:46 PM
 
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keep in mind that marriage does have a lot of legal benefits (i.e. taxes, inheritance, community property, and so on). i think there are 400+ legal benefits to marriage in state and federal law. i know marriage isn't for anybody, but marriage as an institution does have a lot of legal benefits. just something to consider. i am definitely not persuading you to get married or anything like that. some people, not necessarily you, aren't aware of the legal benefits that come with marriage.

plus, domestic partnership laws usually don't cover unmarried heterosexual couples unless they are over 65 (at least in CA, anyway).

goodluck and congratulations on your commitment ceremony!
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 05:13 PM Thread Starter
 
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I am aware of the legal benefits. As I said eventually we may get legally married and those would be the only reasons. I pretty much feel married right now. We are just happy with the way things are now and are afraid that if we actually legally get married things may head south for some reason. The whole "why change something that is good" deal. I know many people who were fine in their relationship and then got married and things went sour.

Quote:
are you both unwanting a wedding recognised by the government or a "church" wedding?
Yes.

I guess the whole ceremony thing just seems appealing to me. I don't want a fancy white wedding. Just something to celebrate our union.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 05:19 PM Thread Starter
 
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Just checked out handfasting. Seems interesting. Thank you Cassandra.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 05:43 PM
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I think you should do whatever makes you happy, but be aware that some might frown on the etiquette of doing so. Some people regard 'multiple weddings' (as in, small ceremony at home plus a destination wedding, or a 'recommittment' on an anniversary) as nothing more than excuses to get additional gifts and being in the spotlight.

I'm not one who feels this way, but when I was a member of a large wedding board, this was one opinion voiced by the members.
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 05:52 PM Thread Starter
 
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Yeah I could care less about the gifts. I just want to have a ceremony. I don't know for sure if we will ever get married in the legally binding sense ever. who knows if we will ever have a commitment ceremony. I was just curious as to whether anyone else has had a ceremony like this and what their experience is. I am aware of the legal benefits of marriage and I know my options. I know people may frown upon us but I don't care. All of my friends and family are supportive of such a thing so anyone who isn't probalby isnt' that important to me. I did not intend for this thread to be anything other than just what I asked.
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 06:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aphrodeia
I'm not one who feels this way, but when I was a member of a large wedding board, this was one opinion voiced by the members.
Never have heard of a wedding board. Please elaborate.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 01-02-2006, 07:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeyM
Quote:
Originally Posted by aphrodeia
I'm not one who feels this way, but when I was a member of a large wedding board, this was one opinion voiced by the members.
Never have heard of a wedding board. Please elaborate.
Message board. Sorry, wasn't clear.
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