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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-02-2006, 09:54 PM Thread Starter
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What should I do?

Well.....

One of my oldest friends stopped talking to me. I actually stayed at his house for 2 1/2 weeks before I moved into my new place when I got back to Michigan. I'm completely freaking out. He has never not talked to me. Even when I owed him alot of money. I can't figure out what I did or why he won't talk to me. I have tried calling him, texting him, emailing him, leaving him messages and comments on my space. Nothing....no response. I don't understand. He actually changed his profile on myspace (which mentioned me) to not

I've been trying to figure out what to do. I think I am going to write him a letter and mail it. I finally sent a message to his girlfriend and sked if she knew why he hated me now. Hope that wasn't a mistake.

It really tears me up after everything I have been through to be losing one of my oldest and dearest friends. Ecspecially since I don't know why.

~Shelly~

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and Khan my Pit Bull Terrier
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-02-2006, 10:01 PM
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I'm so sorry about this, after all of your problems! I don't think contacting his girl friend was a mistake, unless she might be jealous. There has to be a misunderstanding, and if you can find out what it is, you'll be able to straighten this out. I certainly hope so.




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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-02-2006, 10:05 PM
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Not knowing why is a really tough one. I've been thru that and it is NOT easy to get over. However, I can tell you this..... it may not be anything you did or didn't do. Most often when something like that happens, it is the other person who is going thru something and isn't very good about communicating what is going on - it is easier for them to just ignore/stop talking.

I know it doesn't help to hear that tho when your mind is trying to make sense of it and it keeps going over everything you ever said/didn't say or did/didn't do looking for an answer. I hope you get one, but if you don't, remember most likely it's not you, ok?

If you ever need someone who might vaguely relate, feel free to PM.

Good luck!
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-03-2006, 11:47 AM
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I don't know, but there is nothing more painful than having a roommate without being paid. I got burned too many times that I will NEVER have another roommate!!!

Maybe he is expecting monetary compensation?

I think it will get better with time. Don't worry about it
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-03-2006, 12:00 PM
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I lost a LIFE LONG friend a few years back. He got mad at me because i set a boundry with him as to what i would do for him for FREE! I've never seen or heard from him since. Such is life, it's his loss not mine.

Life is an adventure filled with new friends and old heartbreaks. Don't worry about the past but rather look to the future and all the wonderment it holds.

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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-03-2006, 12:42 PM
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I feel for you. I had a dear friend drop out on me like that. We were very close, talked and got together all the time, and she was a bridesmaid in my wedding. Her career took off and I knew she was busy, so I understood that and made an effort to stay in touch. She was always friendly and interested when we spoke even though she rarely returned my calls.

I realized that we were no longer friends when she never called after I had my daughter, and then six months later when my mother died. Even though I called to let her know about my mom (who she knew well), she never returned the call, was a no-show at the funeral, no card, nothing. This hurt even more since I had supported her when her dad died.

I have only contacted her once since, to let her know that a mutual friend's father died. No response of any sort.

Sorry, don't mean to take over your thread with my issue... but I think it is just cruel when someone breaks off contact like that. You deserve some explanation from this friend.

I think what you've done so far makes sense. If you write the letter, I hope your friend will see how sad this has made you and at least tell you what's wrong. However, after that you don't want to allow this to take over. Continuing to contact him with no response will only hurt you. If you see mutual friends, ask about him and let them know that you miss him. Hopefully, in time he will get past this. Good luck.

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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-03-2006, 01:46 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by shengmei
I don't know, but there is nothing more painful than having a roommate without being paid. I got burned too many times that I will NEVER have another roommate!!!

Maybe he is expecting monetary compensation?

I think it will get better with time. Don't worry about it
I was not a roomate. I stayed in his basement with my cats for 2 1/2 weeks. Knowing my financial situation along with everything else...he did this to help me out with out any money to be changing hands

~Shelly~

Zoee, Zack, Lamar & Mateo's mom
and Khan my Pit Bull Terrier
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-03-2006, 01:48 PM Thread Starter
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He is a completely non confrontational person so he tends to avoid anything that could be considered a confrontation. It just bothers me that I can't seem to figure out why he would just stop talking to me. Even if I did something to upset him I can't see why he wouldn't tell me.

~Shelly~

Zoee, Zack, Lamar & Mateo's mom
and Khan my Pit Bull Terrier
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-03-2006, 02:02 PM
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I'm just making a guess here. but it's possible his girlfriend thought you were more than friends, and if he contacts you, it will cause problems. At least she knows now that it was only a friendship--or you would not have contacted her. I so hope your friendship will be restored someday. In the meantime, I don't think you should try to contact him about this again. Whatever his reasons are, he's not ready to discuss them. Of course, you'll be pleasant to him if you see him.




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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 02-03-2006, 08:08 PM Thread Starter
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I am pretty sure that she understood that we had been close friends for years. Her and I talked and got along well while I was staying there.

She read the message I sent her, but didn't respond. I'm not sure if she knows what is going on and doesn't want to tell me or if she really doesn't even know that I haven't talked to him, since I have talked to her.

~Shelly~

Zoee, Zack, Lamar & Mateo's mom
and Khan my Pit Bull Terrier
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