My parents are being jerks.... - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-26-2006, 12:48 PM Thread Starter
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My parents are being jerks....

RrRRRRR. I am suppost to be getting married on july 1st at Rissers beach (nova scotia) and my parents won't come. We are currently living about 1 and 1/2 hours away from rissers beach and they say that it is too far away to have a wedding and they won't come. They are telling me that I should have it closer or they won't go. I am almost close to crying my eyes out because I dont' think it is far for them to tell me that when this is my dream spot to get married at. As it is right now my mother isnt' helping me one bit to get ready to get married. I don't think I should have to please anyone but myself on my wedding day. I'm soo upset.. what should I do? I am already living with my fiance and he thinks I should do whatever makes me happy...
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-26-2006, 01:48 PM
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listen to your fiance. if it's your dream spot, have it there. Don't let your parents ruin your dream wedding just because they don't like sand/can't drive that far/are just lazy.

They could always carpool with another guest if they don't want to drive. But since they don't seem to be helping you in any way, don't give them options. the only opinions that matter are the bride and grooms IMO
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-26-2006, 01:54 PM
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Your parents don't want to come to your wedding becuase it's an hour and a half from where they live???? What the heck? Yeah I'd be upset they don't want to come but even more upset that there seems to be a deeper issue here. They should be at your wedding.
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-26-2006, 02:26 PM
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Do what will make YOU happy.

They wouldn't want to drive 1 1/2 hours to see their daughter get married?! That's being very selfish.
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-26-2006, 06:41 PM
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It's yours and your fiances wedding do what makes you happy. Its very sad and troubling that your parents won't go, but if they don't end up coming they will regret it later.
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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-26-2006, 06:52 PM
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I think it's easy for people to say "Do what makes YOU happy." But, honestly, and this may just be me, if my parents aren't happy then I am not happy so in turn "doing what makes me happy means making my parents happy." It's a tough call with the wedding thing though...
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-26-2006, 07:20 PM
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I don't understand them saying that unless there is some medical reason that would make it hard for them to travel that far. I think it is selfish if they just don't feel like driving. I can understand why you would be upset. If you really want them there, you might try explaining to them that this is your dream spot to get married and that you really would like to have them there. You only get married once (well, some people) and I don't think it's asking too much for them to go that far. It's not like you're asking them to buy plane tickets or anything.

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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-26-2006, 08:35 PM Thread Starter
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well I was kinda ranting before. My mother was in a car accident about a year ago. She wasn't really injured (sprained wrist) but since that happened she hasnt' gotten into a car at all since. To tell you the truth she doesnt' even leave the house for ANYTHING. This is why I told her long time ago to get help for her problem. She is on anxiety meds now but still refuses to go anywhere, and my dad isnt' even bothering to help the situation out either. I have tried to talk to her about it till I'm blue in the face but it still does no good.. I'm just really upset.. I'm getting married in less than five months and I'm torn about what to do.. I love to get married on Risser's beach (white sand) but I'm not sure if I should keep the peace and get married closer.. I dunno ... I'm torn right now....
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-26-2006, 11:18 PM
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I assume she has been diagnosed with agoraphobia? If she has panic attacks when she leaves the house, there are no ifs, ands, or buts, about it in her mind. She KNOWS she is dying. It's a horrible thing to go through.

Of course you want your mother to come to the wedding, and I'm sure she wants to be there. She might know--intellectually--that she will not die if she leaves the house. However, when the panic sets in, it takes over. The only solution I can see is to have a therapist go to the house to help her conquer this terrible problem and a doctor to supervise her anti-anxiety meds. She's not being unreasonable. She just can't do it right now. Perhaps she will be able to get enough help be able to attend your wedding. I sincerely hope so for your sake and hers. God bless.


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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 02-27-2006, 12:47 AM
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It is a tough situation for you to be in. I also agree with the above post in that it sounds like your Mom has some severe struggles, she needs help and at this time, it sounds like she just can't, no matter how much it may not make sense to you. Having known and loved people with such problems I would encourage you to try to compromise. I do know it's your special day, and it is so very easy and understandable to want to do what makes you happy. I am wondering though, if you would consider blessing your Mom and Dad, and in the future it will bless you too, to have your wedding in a location where they can/would attend. It is so easy to just look at the here and now, but as an "older woman," I am thinking that you may have some deep regrets in the future if your choice excludes your Mom and Dad. The hurt on both sides will run deeply for a long time. I know they are seeming to only think of themselves right now but with these types of situations, that is often all a person can do. I am guessing your mom is experiencing great anguish. I am wondering, would it be possible for you to be married at a closer location and then perhaps you and your fiance could do something special at Rissers Beach, just the two of you or you two and some close friends. Just something to consider. I wish you and your fiance the very best.

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