I need wedding invitation advice - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-06-2006, 03:29 PM Thread Starter
 
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I need wedding invitation advice

Here's the situation.

Brandon and I found nice wedding invitations that we would really like to have. We told my mother this and she was fine with it. Until...

She had this "great" idea! She wants to use a photo of Brandon and I (I hate pictures of myself, btw) as a black and white watermark-type-background with text laid over the top. She plans on making them herself, with an inkjet printer.

I'm in a horribly tight spot. I absolutely LOVE my mother, and I appreciate that she and my dad are spotting the bill for the wedding, but I really really really do not like her idea.

Now, before anyone says to tell her the truth....

My mother is also horribly sensitive, as am I. To tell her the truth would hurt her soooo badly, which in turn would make me feel like the world's biggest cad. It's bad enough I had to convince her that Brandon and I wanted our wedding down here where we live (rather than Gary, IN), but I also had to convince her about the photograher (whom we LOVE) that we chose.

To add this to the list of things that "we want" and "she doesn't" would really make things worse.

I really don't know how to tell her in a nice enough way to find a good compromise, because frankly, Brandon is just as opinionated on this as I am (and my mother cannot seem to except this...).

Help?
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-06-2006, 03:38 PM
 
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Compromise .

Let her make the invitations, but chose another picture. Tell her that you don't like an invitation with your picture on it.
And if you don't like that either, well ther's no other way than to tell her gently...Good luck, and remember, it's YOUR wedding, allthough it doesn't hurt to make your mother happy too ;
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-06-2006, 03:39 PM
 
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when in doubt, blame it on the husband...they are so much easier to forgive than the bride youll know what i mean in the future. Poor Brandon...but it works.

if it was me..and id know..my mom is sensitive to the point of tears sometimes...say:

"Well you know Mom, i really like your idea, id do it if it was just up to me...but Brandon was really hoping for a classic invitation...and since hes just been kind of swept up in the whirlwind of things, wouldnt it be nice to let him have SOMETHING he can feel in control of? i really want him to enjoy this day"
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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-06-2006, 03:41 PM
 
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OH willow, that's a good one!
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-06-2006, 03:44 PM
 
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i hope my mom doesnt all of a sudden have a need to go on catforum like i have been bugging her to and read this...i used it on her with several things and BOY did it work....

oh and that way the hurt is taken off of her and shes concerned with hurting him if he cant have something he had some descisions in...most moms want the groom to be happy to be marrying their daughter and most moms know the planning is the biggest trial on the impending marriage
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-06-2006, 03:47 PM Thread Starter
 
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Well, that WOULD work, but I've been forcing him to do things (am I evil or what??). I think I found a way. My brother says he works with a guy who has his own printing company. Also, we can get a pretty good deal at the place we ordered the tuxes from (free invitations, but you have to pay for the reception cards and response cards).

I'm 23 and still scared of my mother.
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-06-2006, 04:12 PM
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Don't let ANYONE tell or pressure you into doing what they want you to do. This is your wedding and you should do what YOU want to do.

I had a problem with this when I was planning my wedding. I should have stood up for myself but I wound up doing things that I didn't want to do that have cost me since then, financially and otherwise.
post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-06-2006, 04:44 PM
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This is rough. Could you let Brandon order the ones you want right away, and then tell your mom he ordered them. You wouldn't be lying, although it's rather sneaky. Or, tell her you prefer a classic invitation, but the picture could be used elsewhere, and thank her for the original idea?




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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-06-2006, 05:32 PM Thread Starter
 
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Well, here's what I did. First, I explained to her that Brandon really wants certain invitations (thanks for that advice Willow) but I also made it sound as if I liked her idea, but I wasn't crazy about my picture being on the card (which is mostly true, I just didn't want inkjet-printed cards).

I found a place online that sells the invitations we were looking at, but at a much lower price. This means we can get the invitations we want for free from the Tux place, and order the extras (response and reception cards) from the place online.

I spoke to my mother like an adult and I expressed my concern for her having to design response and reception cards as well as the invitation. I also said it would take a long time to get them all printed and such, and that it would be a LOT of work.

And Jeanie, I would have done that, but my mom wants to be involved in everything and she would get really upset if he did that.

Overall, it has worked out much better. *phew* I think I just needed more courage than anything.
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 04-06-2006, 05:37 PM
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Relaxing sigh! Ahhhhhhhhh...... Parents love their grown children so much it would be sad to hurt her feelings. You're exceptionally considerate!




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