And Life goes On - Cat Forum : Cat Discussion Forums
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-29-2006, 02:20 AM Thread Starter
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And Life goes On

Well guys its taken me while to post this, since its all just happend this week. I don't post much but I do lurk and read a lot and enjoy reading all the posts. But I felt I needed to post this because its affects me and my cat and I think it will help me in a way. The internet works in mysterious ways.

My husband of 18 months is divorcing me. He has decided that he can't be happy with me in his future and that he does not know what he wants in life. So his decision for this is to divorce me and send me on my way. I offered several ideas and ways to try and work our marriage out but he refused. I wanted to post about this earlier this week when it began but I was too much of an emotional wreck. I'm now to the point where I'm angry and ready to move on with my life. He is filing the papers sometime next week and as soon as they are signed I'll be headed to my home town. I'm giving up my house that I love and my job which I totally adore but I feel like I'm gaining freedom. I also feel like a weight has been lifted off of me since monday night and I know life goes on. I really think I needed to vent this, and hope I don't sound desperate or anything.

I will say this, our animals of all species know when something is going wrong. My cat has not left my side since Tuesday afternoon when I got home. The other cat that is staying here (due to family issues before the whole "divorce issue") know's something's wrong and will come and sit with me. There's also a little dog here and she follows me around during the day time. I believe that animals are very empathatic (is that even a word?) and sympathic. They love you unconditionally and are always there for you.

Sorry I kinda got off topic, I'm rambling a little, its late. However when I do move from my house, I will not move from this forum, being able to escape into a world of cats each day has helped me so far and I believe that it will continue to do so. So thanks to all the forum members for posting and bringing me to a different place when things in my life are very fragile and chaotic right now.
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-29-2006, 07:52 AM
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I am so sorry to hear about your divorce. I have never been divorced but have always been the one broken up with in long term relationships. It is sooo hard. don't forget to allow yourself time to feel. It is okay to feel the hurt for a while and if you try and deny those feelings now it will just make it harder later.

I know that feeling of freedom. It took me a while to get there but it did feel good once it happened. I realized that even though I still loved my ex and that he broke up with me that really in the end it was a good decision. I had blinded myself to so many problems within the relationship. many I hadn't even seen until I had given myself time to think it all through.

Make sure to take time to rediscover yourself since I do think no matter how involved you are in a relationship you do tend to lose a part of yourself no matter how small it may be.

Take a few deep breaths and realize you have many people who will be thinking of you.
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-29-2006, 07:53 AM
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oh and yes...cats are very in tune with our emotions. I know my cat Willis was attached at my hip after I got my wisdom teeth pulled. He barely left my side for 2 days. It is good that you have a support system whether it's a furry one or not.
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-29-2006, 09:22 AM
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I am so sorry to hear your news. I too believe animals are very in tune with the emotions of their surroundings, be it good or bad.
Best wishes, you are in my thoughts.
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-29-2006, 10:13 AM
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I'm really sorry to hear that. But it sounds as if you think it's for the best so I wish you the best with the next stages of your life.

Cats are amazingly in-tune with us -- that's why I like them so much more than people!

Take care...we're always here for you.
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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-29-2006, 03:53 PM
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Of course I feel terrible that the marriage is breaking up. However, he must be very immature to put such a small effort into what is meant to be a lifelong commitment. It's better to be angry than upset, so when you are feeling low, remember the situation as he presented it, and you'll always know you wouldn't want to go back to it. Try to forgive him, though, so that you don't have to carry that burden.

Visit more often, please. It has always been a pleasure to read your posts. My prayers will be with you as you enter a new phase in your life. God bless.


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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-29-2006, 09:34 PM
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Wow...sorry your husband turned out to be such a jerk. At least now you have a chance to meet a real man. A truly good one.

Just one question, why do you have to leave a job you adore and move away from where you live now? I was born and raised in Florida but lived in Michigan when I split up with my first husband. I loved Michigan and there was no way I was going back to Florida even though my mother wanted me to come live with her. Divorce doesn't automatically mean you have to uproot yourself like that.

If you really love your job and want to keep it, why not stay where you are? It's something in your life that gives you happiness and satisfaction, and those two things are good to keep!
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-29-2006, 10:15 PM
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Wow, I am so sorry. *hugs* You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-30-2006, 12:54 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks guys, I really appreciate the support. I love this forum so much cause everyone here is so wonderful.

In response to Sky Eyes Woman, yes I do have to leave. I have no family or friends in this area and it would be really hard for me to stay here on my own. I'm moving back to Lawrenceville GA so I'm not leaving the state. As for the job I have now, it doesn't pay much at all and I really couldn't survive on my own with it. There are emotional reasons on why I can't stay down here too. His family is located all around here and usually when we were out shopping we'd run into a relative.

I've decided that since he doesn't want me around and that he won't be happy with me that I'm going to make myself happy. Moving to be closer to my mom, grandparents and brother would really help. Right now I'm 70 miles away from my mom and its really tough because I've only been able to seeher once a month in the past. I do have friends up in Lawrenceville and I think that being there with them would help me with starting my life over. There are better jobs in Lawrenceville and I will make more with full benefits and 401k which will help me out a bunch. Plus I will be making enough so I can go back to school to finish my education degree so I can become a teacher. That's my goal so far out of all of this.

Again thanks for the support, I'll keep ya'll up on what's going on. I think by posting today it feels as if more weights have been lifted off my shoulders! Thanks guys! Oh and we have to thank the kitties too!
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 04-30-2006, 01:00 AM
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Ah, so it does sound like getting away from that area will be best.

I hope things go the same way for you as it did me when I got divorced, yes it did hurt a lot at first but it wasn't very long before I noticed how much happier I was without my ex and how much my finances improved when he was gone.

Please feel free to drop in on me anytime if you need someone to talk to.
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